the era of techno romance

romance may have been relegated to romantic comedies these days and ostensibly has changed considerably from the past.  However there is still a need for romance in our relationships.  If we have sacrificed adventure in life then we need to bring that spirit of adventure back into our romances. But it seems that we are marching ever onwards continuing to remove the romance from our relationships?

It’s impossible to have any sort of love life these days without engaging in at least a bit of techno-romance – i.e., the rampant use of technologies to cultivate and explore romantic, sexual and flirtatious interactions.

But what if we could use technology not only to meet and communicate with our paramours, but also to navigate our way through entire relationships? Let’s face it, most of us are ‘very busy people’ and aren’t sure if we truly have enough free time to invest in the nuances of a full-blown relationship. So what if we could simply…outsource it?

That means just under five million people who are currently married or cohabiting harbour romantic thoughts for a third party.

And the subject of their illicit love is most likely to be a work colleague or among their circle of close friends.

The statistics emerged in a poll of 3,000 people which also revealed one in four are not entirely happy in their current relationship.

And of those who are now completely content with their other half, just over 50 per cent have experienced feelings for someone else.

Worryingly, one in six of those who love another will follow it through and become involved in a long-term affair.

But better news for the long-suffering partners of those with a wandering eye is that falling for someone else usually only happens once during each relationship.

And only six per cent said they were planning to leave their long-term partner for the other man or woman.

A spokesman for OnePoll.com, which carried out the study, said: “The research shows just how many people believe that it’s possible to hold feelings for more than one person.

So it appears that romance is occurring despite our sanitizing of it, or transferring it onto our romantic comedies?

On the other hand Mercury News had some interesting stats from other data Online dating sites are a treasure trove for scientists:

“But I’m not sure we’ll ever find the algorithm that eliminates the need to actually get to know someone,” said one of the new field’s leading researchers, UC Berkeley’s Andrew Fiore, who met his girlfriend through a flesh-and-blood friend. “I hope we don’t.”  Embraced by singles around the world as a way to meet that perfect partner among thousands of strangers, these sites are offering academics answers to the questions: How do we select from so many possibilities? Who writes, and who responds? Do words or photos matter? Do self-descriptions match reality?  And most importantly: Does any of this translate into love?  In the past, Fiore said, researchers were confined to studying people’s preferences in the lab — an artificial environment. And early dating habits were rarely studied, because people don’t volunteer for research looking for couples as a “couple.”

Among the findings:

Men most often make the first move, sending that first “wink” or e-mail. They’re also more likely to respond to women’s queries and quicker to write back.  Women are more choosy; in one study, they responded to only 16 percent of messages. And they take longer to respond.  Both men and women seek partners who are similar to themselves in age, education, height, religion, politics and views about smoking.  Women are less open-minded, at least regarding ethnicity. They’re twice as likely as men to specify that they’re seeking someone of their own ethnicity.  Both sexes exaggerate a bit. Men add a half-inch to their height; women miraculously drop five pounds off their weight.  Women say more — but surprisingly not a lot more. In describing themselves, women use an average of 118 words, while men use 106.  Women’s descriptions used more words relating to home, sex and emotions; men are more likely to talk about work.  Appearance matters. Men say a photograph is the dominant predictor of whether they’ll connect. Women like photographs but also value the self-descriptive narrative in profiles.

So what do you do to encourage romance in your life & relationship?  Let me know in the comments.  I know that laughter is a wonderful aphrodisiac so I wanted to leave you with an hysterical video from a brilliant Irish comedian Dylan Moran on Men, Women, and Romance.  The Irish have the best sense of humor in the world, despite the country’s troubled history, they can always laugh at themselves & each other.  Enjoy….

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