there have been a few articles recently on the subject of how facebook is contributing to people cheating on each other & ultimately causing divorces.  Social networks definitely give people a virtual community that can be supportive & distracting when someone is facing challenges within a relationship.  Anything on the net can be a distraction from addressing problems in real life.  It’s the line of least resistance & communicating directly with a partner or getting couples counseling requires a lot more effort & commitment.

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oxytocin has been considered almost a love drug as it tends to cultivate trust in those who have it in abundance as it cultivates trust in others.  As you know relationships cannot exist without some sort of trust in oneself and of course in the other person with whom we are relating.  Once trust is destroyed it takes a lot of work to save the relationship, if it is not a casualty of the betrayal.  Could we take oxytocin in these cases to help heal the breach of trust?

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I wanted to write today about the contradiction that women often have in their personal relationships.  The contradiction is that women often can be great relaters but often find themselves not receiving what they want from others in relationships.  At my other blog EZebis, I have been interviewing venture capitalists & women founders about the shortfall in venture for women.  Some have pointed out that often women hesitate to ask for what they want & also may often tolerate difficult relationships & people in their personal & work lives despite often having strong ability in relating & understanding people.

Thought you might like this light relief graph about relationships:

There’s even a book ‘Women Don’t Ask’ by Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever who did a study on this issue as regards the workplace.  From their website I pulled some interesting stats:

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although we don’t often focus on being or staying single, there are huge benefits & it can be very fulfilling. Many people remain single and refuse to be part of a couple and are perfectly happy.  And many others hold out for the right match, which may not be as easy to find as some dating sites will have you believe.  You may have seen another post that I wrote Settling for Good Enough, (some of us just can’t)!

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it seems that we are such social animals now that even breaking up & divorce is catching too in social networks, not just loneliness!  I read about some recent research that suggest that when your friends or family split that it gives others confidence to do it too.  I gather & would hope that would only be if the expiration date on the relationship/marriage had come due or was overdue.  Nothing stays the same & people & relationships change over time and it is unrealistic to think that two people will stay together FOREVER.  Some do that’s true & it is brilliant that they are able to integrate their love with their personal development & evolvement.  But for the rest of us it seems we have to be ready to roll with the fast pace of life & intense pressures that we face in modern life.  Every individual ultimately will move & grow in the direction that they choose and we cannot limit or manipulate a partner’s path by demanding that they do what we want or go our way!  Ultimately that will come back & hit you in the face, control & manipulation of another never really work to anyone’s benefit in my experience.

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