I read two conflicting articles this week about which is the best avenue to find a partner online or offline dating.  Online dating certainly has its problems, lying, sites lack of integrity, the gap between virtual & reality, inability to identify chemistry until meeting to mention just a few.  Offline dating has a longer history and can still be subject to lying but there is no middleman with lack of integrity as in the dating sites, there is no virtual gap & chemistry can usually be identified immediately.

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romantic movies tend to spill over into our relationships and can create unrealistic expectations of others.  The word romance comes from 1300 meaning “story of a hero’s adventures,” “vernacular language of France” (as opposed to Latin), and originates from Old French romanz “verse narrative, the connecting notion is that medieval vernacular tales were usually about chivalric adventure.  We may have lost a sense of adventure when it comes to our relationships and are left now to live this out through Hollywood movies?

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if we are looking for a romantic partner it is important to get the complete & whole picture of who they are rather than breaking all their attributes down into pieces & analyzing them with our mind too much.  Unfortunately this is just what online dating sites rely on in profiles, where all interests & personality traits are listed.  Dan Ariely, Director of The Center for Advanced Hindsight, thinks that this encourages superficial assessments of others & causes a lot of dissatisfaction with online dating sites.

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it seems that we are such social animals now that even breaking up & divorce is catching too in social networks, not just loneliness!  I read about some recent research that suggest that when your friends or family split that it gives others confidence to do it too.  I gather & would hope that would only be if the expiration date on the relationship/marriage had come due or was overdue.  Nothing stays the same & people & relationships change over time and it is unrealistic to think that two people will stay together FOREVER.  Some do that’s true & it is brilliant that they are able to integrate their love with their personal development & evolvement.  But for the rest of us it seems we have to be ready to roll with the fast pace of life & intense pressures that we face in modern life.  Every individual ultimately will move & grow in the direction that they choose and we cannot limit or manipulate a partner’s path by demanding that they do what we want or go our way!  Ultimately that will come back & hit you in the face, control & manipulation of another never really work to anyone’s benefit in my experience.

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I read an article this week in BitchMedia which exposed a new move on OKCupid that is a bit disconcerting to say the least.  Apparently OKCupid now know who is ‘most attractive’ and are segregating users by most & least attractive categories.  Gee I want to know how OKCupid have access to knowing what I consider attractive or anyone for that matter????

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