technology had definitely changed our lives & our relationships.  Most people have tried online dating or met people through social networks.  However there have recently been articles focused on the failures of online sites to deliver good matches or any near half decent matches for users.  It’s a different world online & there are many new & different skills that need to be developed to be successful in whatever it is that we are focusing & trying to accomplish.  The human factor & chemistry are key in dating & maybe online dating sites have not been really successful at providing platforms that include this key piece?

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I have been involved in the online dating industry for over 5 years due to my online matchmaking startup.  I have felt quite disappointed  in all the tricks & subterfuges that are used by most sites to make money.  I determined a long time ago that probably the reason for this is that most sites are founded & run by men.  If you’ll permit me to generalize, men usually have different perspectives about finding a mate.  And unfortunately their focus is usually on making money rather than seeing people find great matches which to most of these sites means loss of membership & therefore revenue.  In the last couple of years we are seeing more women founding sites & female CEOs so hopefully they can turn things around somewhat in this industry.  Because if I continue with the generalization, women have a higher priority & instinct for finding mates.  And believe it or not offering a great service does not equate to an either/or situation i.e., money or great matching service but can actually bring balance into an industry that is totally out of whack & does not have a great reputation!

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online dating is an altered reality, very different from real world meeting people who come across our path, or who we get introduced to by well meaning friends who find our singleness uncomfortable.  It may not be the answer to the real world problem of finding a mate for everyone because it doesn’t have a high success rate.  It’s great when you meet a happy couple who have escaped the odds & found each other online.  But there are probably many more stories about disappointment & dis-spiritedness than we can even imagine.  So many people looking for love and not enough getting that from online dating.

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my matching algorithm consists of similar & opposite qualities, because after all opposite is where the chemistry, the glue so to speak, in a relationship exists.  I read an interesting post this week where a scientist from a fertility clinic (trying to sell an iphone app?) claimed that eharmony matching threatens human survival as their matching principle is similar.  Apparently this has implications for human evolution.

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can data really identify our soul mate?  Can the essence of a good relationship be brought down to a numbers game?  Can we predict who will match with who?  These questions are currently the  core of the online dating industry & to date there are no clear conclusions.  I came across a few articles this week that deal with this issue.

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