We all experience the world through different lenses and therefore express ourselves in different ways. We express ourselves through our hearts, through what we are passionate about and everything we love to do. Hopefully the vehicle is career and our creative pursuits. We can even express ourselves through the joy of having children. Self expression is important for everyone’s happiness and contentment in life and in relationships. It comes from the very core of our being. Therefore when matching couples it is necessary to make sure that each person can express themselves. There are four general types of categories in how we express ourselves.

[Read more...]

When matchmaking, one of the major issues that needs to be addressed between two people is how comfortable they feel with each other. This is particularly crucial if the relationship may progress towards a live in setup. When sharing the same living space lack of comfort for either person can result in troubles within the relationship. When we are at home, we need to be able to feel comfortable and relaxed. It is a basic need and is the foundation for everything else in our lives. People have 4 basic different types of comfort needs and most of us would relate to one of these, at least generally.

[Read more...]

Having another person involved in a relationship in any capacity immediately changes the dynamic between two people. This can be a positive experience or it can shatter a couple’s trust, depending upon the attitude of the individuals involved. Some of the possibilities are:

• When a relationship’s energy or good feelings are dumbed down by time & habit, one or both parties may venture outside the relationship & have an affair with another

[Read more...]

I saw a great movie this week; it was ‘Shop Girl’ with Steve Martin. It was brilliant and showed extreme examples of emotional distance and intimacy.

[Read more...]

In relationships, as in life, do not underestimate the power of kindness. In fact it may be the one human attribute that can really make a difference and change the color of your day or life! From my experience, there are a few rules of kindness which I have listed as per below:

• The first rule is that kindness starts at home! This means that you must apply kindness to yourself before you extend it to others. Please note that I am not encouraging martyrdom! Remember on an airplane that in an emergency you are asked to put on your own oxygen mask first, then put them on children or those that need your help. It makes sense that if you are being kind to yourself, you cannot help but be kind to others in your immediate vicinity. If you ignore this first step then your ability to be kind to others will be tainted by manipulation and unconscious motivation that may not truly serve them or you in the long run
• The second rule is to be kind to those within your immediate personal vicinity. Your partner and anyone that you are personally responsible for such as children or older relatives would come into this category.

[Read more...]