Technology has made long distance relationships much more manageable with ease of communication & travel. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Our consciousness & our hearts wake up when someone we love is absent so we that appreciate them. Day to day life can numb our consciousness so that we take loved ones for granted. Distance sometimes doesn’t allow for true awareness of the other.

Does long distance love work for you?

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yep that’s right the scientists have discovered that a broken heart really does hurt, so now we are all vindicated!  You are now officially allowed to moan, scream & cry when you have a broken heart because you really are hurting!  (I’ve found chocolate to have wonderful healing effects for this particular ailment!)  This very pertinent revelation came from an article in the Telegraph called Why a Broken Heart Really does Hurt compiled from research done by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken — and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.”  Margaret Mitchell

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Love and relationships = risk. This is enough to turn some people off even setting out on this adventure. Some after experiencing the losses & costs may alter their behavior so as to minimize the loss & the transformation that calls itself Love. However like any great adventure these journeys are not to be missed or even to be minimized in their experience. Any good explorer or adventurer would tell you that the unknown carries with it inherent risks and no guarantees but would also encourage you to prepare and proceed so as not to miss the experience (one of the greatest that Life offers).

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I experienced a big disappointment this week that brought me to thinking about disappointments in relationships. The word disappoint comes from the Medieval French word desappointer meaning “undo the appointment, remove from office’. Modern sense of the word is “to frustrate expectations” which is from secondary meaning of “fail to keep an appointment.”

When we relate with others we bring our own ideals & fantasies to the mix as we meet and mingle. The honeymoon period of any relationship usually carries with it its own ready made fog of infatuation and desire mingled with an insane quality of unrealistic perfection! During this initial period we may not know where we are going or who we are relating to, however it is fun! Like watching a really good movie (only it may last for more than 2 or 3 hours) we are transported beyond ourselves and our mundane lives & worries. We become more than who we are and our partner receives all the fantasies and projections we have stored in the unconscious. Here at last is the perfect partner for us – our ship has finally come in!

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are we better or worse if we stay in relationships or marriages, for ‘better or worse’? The great benefit about commitment to another person, is that we feel safe enough to expose more vulnerable aspects of ourselves. This benefits a couple because that allows for more intimacy between the two people. That is the heart of a good relationship!

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