There is a simple rule in relationships which is that at any given moment you can choose between love or power.  Being human its impossible to be perfect (don’t you hate that?) and so impossible to come consistently from either.  However our values will dictate which side we will try to veer towards as much as possible.

“Where love rules, there is no will to power; where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.” Carl Jung

[Read more...]

how competitive are you in a partnership?  This is an important issue for matching couples because we all have individual requirements for outlet of the competitive urge in intimate relationships.  It’s OK to express unbridled competition in business and work relationships, although even there too much competition can destroy any trust or teamwork in a business or organization.  The Beijing Olympic Games made me think of about competitiveness where it serves the athletes and how it serves us or not in the sphere of relationships.

“Focus on competition has always been a formula for mediocrity.” Daniel Burrus

[Read more...]

change is a constant and needs to be taken into account in every relationship. Nothing stays the same, no one stays the same – we are constantly unveiling our potential. This is of course problematic when matching a couple because where they are at the start may not be where they are at the finish! They may be happy to be together but if their rate of change is different or they change in different ways, what can be done.

“Change is inevitable-except from a vending machine.” Robert C. Gallagher

[Read more...]

Having another person involved in a relationship in any capacity immediately changes the dynamic between two people. This can be a positive experience or it can shatter a couple’s trust, depending upon the attitude of the individuals involved. Some of the possibilities are:

• When a relationship’s energy or good feelings are dumbed down by time & habit, one or both parties may venture outside the relationship & have an affair with another

[Read more...]

change can be a challenging, it requires attention and time and effort! Example, when we change countries from UK to the US.  Then we have to pay a lot of attention to what side of the road we are driving or what side of the car to get into? The habit forming part of the brain has to be adjusted and so we have to pay more attention until it becomes part of our habits. Anyone that has traveled knows the shock when we find ourselves driving on the wrong side of the road or opening the wrong car door.

[Read more...]