settling for good enough?

are you settling for what you can get in the relationship stakes? I read an interesting post in MoreIntelligentLife.com by Adelle Waldman which was a review of Lori Gottlieb’s controversial article in The Atlantic called ‘Marry Him: The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough’ I have a strong reaction to settling for good enough as the costs can be huge for an individual when looking for relationships. Everyone has to identify their own priorities in values, of course, particularly when asking that question: to couple or not to couple??

“You don’t always get what you ask for, but you never get what you don’t ask for… unless it’s contagious!” Franklyn Broude

or are you holding out for what you really want in a relationship? Of course that means whilst you are looking you may fly solo and have to nurse your own wounds & provide your own company? The benefits however are:

• you can also develop incredible life skills
• you can use more of your own potential
• develop your friendships
• get support & company from your community, virtual or real
• you then become more of a treasure for you & that special someone to really appreciate!

“You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don’t know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it.” Barbara De Angelis

As everything starts on the inside and then manifests on the outside in reality, if you hold out for what you want then:

• you are also more likely to find what you want
• become a role model for others who settle for good enough & are dissatisfied with the results
• get a better understanding of yourself & your own needs

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” Maureen Dowd

Of course the path to going for what you want in a relationship rather than settling has an incredible payoff which is that you become incredibly empowered in your life. You have your hands on the wheel & you are in control of the vehicle. This means that you can stop & open up when you meet the right companion for the journey!

Benefits of settling for good enough in relationships is that you always have company, always have relating dynamics & issues and that you will never get lonely?

“Don’t complain that you are not getting what you want, Just be glad you are not getting what you deserve!” Unknown

I’ll close with a really funny video with an Oz comedian Carl Barron who definitely doesn’t settle for what he can get….. Hysterical!

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