romantic relationships & work, can you mix them?

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I understand that if a couple likes each other then the more contact they have with each other the more those feelings will grow, both positive & negative. Familiarity breeds contempt but also concern & love. However it appears that a new study has identified that office romances are not the done thing anymore? These studies do seem to yield results that the researchers want so I am not going to put too much trust in this one either.

The study was mentioned in The Globe and Mail in an article called Love may be the drug, but work is no longer place to score & the main points were:

Only a third of single workers surveyed said they would be willing to date someone they met on the job. And only 12 per cent said they actually do date a colleague – with about half of that small group saying they keep their relationships under wraps. Being hush-hush can be seen as judicious or as putting additional strain on a couple; most workplace romances last less than three months.
Despite the possible complications, the majority of those who met their partner at work said their relationship had no impact on their work.The survey – which covered people from 21 to 65 and which Dr. Fisher said is the largest national sounding of its kind – was financed by online dating service Match.com and executed by an online research company, MarketTools. The results portray contemporary singles as remarkably conservative when it comes to mixing love with livelihood.
One reason may be that employees – especially those just starting out – may be less willing to take risks with their careers in this economy. In fact, there has been a downward trend of workplace romances over the past two decades according to a series of U.S. surveys. In 1985 almost 75 per cent of the work force reported that they had been involved in a romantic relationship that started at work, but by 1995 that figure had dropped to 50 per cent and by 2002, it was 33 per cent, according to surveys by the U.S. Bureau of National Affairs, the American Management Association, and the Society for Human Resource Management.

I guess Match.com wants people to stop having office romances & focus only on online dating, preferentially their site????

However another book titled Click: The Magic of Instant Connections by Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman was reviewed by Guy Kawasaki in How to Click & they seem to uphold the bonus of familiarity:

In their new book, Click: The Magic of Instant Connections, brothers Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman (who co-authored Sway in 2008) explore what makes people click. Longitudinal studies indicate that romantic couples who immediately click (as opposed to connecting more gradually) are significantly more likely to exhibit passion in their relationship years later. And it’s not just about romance: professional teams that click together are more productive and more engaged in their work than their counterparts. What makes us click with others? The Brafmans reveal five “accelerators” that promote clicking:

1. Vulnerability: The more we share and make ourselves vulnerable, the easier it is for others to see the person behind the mask and to connect with us. When you feel touched or hurt, speak up. The more you let people in, the more they’ll reciprocate, so open up and disclose your feelings.

2. Proximity: The physically closer that you are to someone, the more likely that you will connect with them. What’s surprising is just how much the last few feet matter. For example, university students who were randomly assigned to centrally located dorms reported having more friends than the ones who lived in end units. Showing up to a meeting in person means getting to participate in pre-meeting talk that fosters genuine connection (for example, “Let me tell you about what happened to me this weekend”). You miss out on these types of contacts with audio and video conferences.

3. Similarity: Similarity is the initial glue that prompts us to become more familiar with one another, and even the small stuff counts—for example, being born in the same year, being a fan of the same sports team, having the same taste in music, or sharing a favorite vacation spot. Therefore, when similarities come up, make sure you take advantage of them. The quality of the similarities isn’t the most important factor; it’s quantity that really matters.

4. Attentiveness: When people really “show up” and they’re in the “zone” so to speak, people naturally connect with them. Moreover, people who are attentive make others around them attentive too—and much more likely to click. Whether you’re doing a pitch for investors or participating in a meeting, pay careful attention to what’s going on and look for opportunities to engage others.

5. Clearly defined community and shared adversity: Going through a tough experience together—completing a challenging work project, going through breakups at the same time—makes us feel like we’re part of the same community or group. And the more that connection is framed as being its own little world—war vets, support groups, freshman dorm mates—the more powerful the connection becomes.

So it appears that the Brafman brothers research upholds my thoughts that office romances will never die. I would like to leave you with an hysterical video by Indian origin comedian Russel Peters who talks about doing business with Chinese. Enjoy it , so funny….