Today I’m going to do a review of Dateline’s Relationship Assessment – they call it ‘The Really Ultimate Relationship Test’. It’s basically a condensed Myers Briggs assessment (Jungian based) which they have purchased from testsonthenet.com. I’m pretty partial to Myers Briggs assessments, having been a Jungian therapist in a past life. However I’m not sure that there are enough questions to really give an accurate assessment. I have always been an ENF(Feeling)J however on Dateline I became a ENT(Thinking)J? Apart from enjoying the change from being a Feeling oriented person to being a Thinking oriented person, it makes me a little wary of this short assessment.
“A man is infinitely more complicated than his thoughts.” Paul Valery
Anyway here is what an ENTJ actually means (as per Dateline website):
- Extraverts are outgoing, energetic and action-oriented. They are enthusiastic and expressive.
- iNtuitives are more attentive to information that is imaginative and original. iNtuitives focus on the future.
- Thinkers make decisions using logic and impersonal analysis They use their heads rather than their hearts.
- Judgers prefer a lifestyle that is decisive, planned, orderly. They like a life that is organised and controlled.
There is also included a more detailed interpretation of each of these functions which I wont include. However there is one brief paragraph on how ENTJs approach relationships:
ENTJs put a lot of effort and enthusiasm into their relationships. They value relationships highly, especially those that present them with a learning experience – new challenges and intellectual stimulation. Such relationships promote genuine affection and satisfaction for the ENTJ.
The ENTJ has a lot to bring to the table in a relationship. They accept responsibility and accountability and are dedicated to making relationships work. Their relationships are based on mutual respect, constant growth and development. Naturally however, as an ENTJ, they will want to be ‘in charge’!
Then there is some background on their matching technique as per below:
It is generally accepted by social scientists, anthropologists and relationship experts that ‘like attracts like’. Most people consciously or sub-consciously look for a partner who has similar core personality traits. Not only are you going to have similar values and styles, but you are also going to have a strong natural drive to connect and flourish as a relationship. Therefore connecting with someone who has the same Personality Type as you – another ENTJ – will be great – no problem.
Like you, these other three Personality Types are constantly seeking to understand what makes things and people ‘tick’. In a nutshell:
They are creative and innovative.
They especially seek relationships that are challenging and provide intellectual stimulation.
Dull repetitive routine is not for them.
They are nourished by new experiences!
Although analytical and logical they are not Mr. or Ms. Spocks!
Humour is a shared significant quality, although the way it is expressed may differ – from slapstick to dry one-liners.
Their way of interacting socially with others and organising their day-to-day life may differ from yours. However, this is unlikely to be a problem. Differences such as this are what makes relationships sparkle. What you can be certain of is that their core values and strengths are very compatible with yours..
‘It’s not sissy to show your feeling.’ Diana, Princess of Wales
And the other Myers Briggs types are interpreted as follows:
- outgoing, enthusiastic, articulate: Rarely a dull moment! ENFPs! They have a contagious enthusiasm and love to inspire others to greater things. They see potential in everyone and in every situation. They live in a busy world of possibilities where imagination runs free and each and every day is important. For ENFPs diversity is the universal key to happiness in life – they enjoy many different types of friends, interests and experiences.
- cool, dynamic and caring: INFPs are nurturing, supportive, encouraging and have a quiet sense of humour. Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling, they strive for ‘win-win’ situations. While they have a gentleness about them they can be highly motivated. They calmly push for what is important to them – they rarely give up.
- dynamic, confident and sparkling: ENTPs are confident, dynamic, energetic and sparkling. They are great conversationalist who laugh easily and often. For them life is one delightful challenging game. They love to motivate and enthuse people to go that one step further – to win rather than to be a runner-up!
- highly imaginative, innovative and generally cool: Relationships with an INTP will never be dull! They bring natural creativity, originality and their own brand of humour to the relationship. Although they are naturally reserved, they are easy to get on with. Unlike some other Personality Types, they do not need to be the centre of attraction. They delight in tackling the complex. They are thoughtful and interested in theorising, analysing and learning. They thrive on exploring, understanding and explaining how the world works.
- individualistic, creative and love to be challenged: Inventive – inspired – persistent – creative – imaginative and determined – all words that are frequently used to describe an INTJ. They are very independent individualists who seek new angles or novel ways of looking at life. They strive to always do their best and to be moving in a positive direction. Sometimes they become so inspired and involved, their energy level is awesome to behold!
“There is a big difference between thinking: I’m in a relationship and something’s wrong. Therefore something must be wrong with the relationship, and thinking I’m in a relationship and we’ve got problems. This is evidence that you are different than me.” Wayne Dyer
ESFJs are ‘people people’ :ESFJs have a natural ability to connect with people. They are ‘people people’ and have a real gift for making people feel good about themselves. They have a strong sense of justice and a natural feeling for what is right and wrong. They bring a great deal of harmony, stability and loyalty to friendships and relationships. Generous and warm: ISFJs put a lot of effort and energy into making relationships work smoothly. They are good listeners, generous and warm. Super-dependable, they are hard-working and responsible – they will never let you down. Although they have all these strengths they may, sometimes, drive you mad by being infuriatingly modest! A take charge kind of person: ESTJs life philosophy could be described as WYGIWYS – ‘What you get is what you see!’. They are down-to-earth, straightforward and decisive. People know exactly where they are with an ESTJ. They work hard and play hard. They are life’s natural organisers and they have the ability to ‘make it happen’. If anybody’s going to get it right, they will. no-nonsense types of people: ISTJ are no-nonsense types of people who are very responsible, dependable and have strong traditional values. They say what they mean and mean what they say. With good reason, people rely on them. They put a tremendous effort into making relationships work. They are naturally reserved and may tend to hide their strengths and dry sense of humour. Be patient, give them time to blossom, they are likely to surprise you.
“Humans have the ability to shift perspective. We can experience the world through our senses. Or we can remove ourselves from our senses and experience the world even less directly. We can think about our life, rather than thinking in our life. We can think about what we think about our life, and we can think about what we think about that. We can shift perceptual positions many times over.” John J. Emerick
And to finish they list:
Keys to Compatibility
Trust, good communication and mutual respect are aspects of relationships that all personality types value highly. However, here are some special aspects that ENTJs report as being most important to them:
- No time wasting.
- Setting high standards – in everything.
- Activity and diversity.
- Intellectual stimulation.
- Strong support for my need for personal development.
- Honesty and directness when dealing with problems.
I disagree with them that like attracts like in all cases (please refer to past posts). I appreciate that they have Myers Briggs assessments on Dateline but I don’t think enough individualized work has been done with the assessment for matching couples. Having said that though this is a better matching system than nothing which many dating sites try to get away with. Maybe down the line Dateline will invest a more personalised matching assessment for their site? For now I will give them an 8 out of 10 because this is a great assessment for self understanding. If you understand yourself then its easier to match with someone who fits your needs & values.Life has speeded up over the years and here’s a really funny video about speed dating from the Omid Djalili show, enjoy.
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