what price to avoid loneliness?

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loneliness drives us to look for companions in our lives & our stories.  It brings dating sites their traffic.  The scientists are finding out more about how our loneliness drives us.

‘No man is lonely while eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.’  Christopher Morley

I was reading in the Independent about how too much choice can defeat the purpose & leave you with no one & lonely in Mating game: Too much choice will leave you lonely.  Here are some quotes from the article:

Scientists have made a surprising discovery: The more options you have for choosing a lover, the likelier you are to end up with no-one.British investigators, in a new study released on Wednesday, looked at the strange dynamics of choice in speed-dating, a fashionable way for singles to meet.Speed-daters race through a rota of one-on-one meetings, judging each person for suitability after a conversation of a few minutes that ends when a bell sounds.Assessing large numbers of candidates was not a problem in itself, the researchers found.In fact, many speed-daters found more potential partners when they were able to cast their net into a larger pool.But this advantage only worked when the available candidates were all broadly similar.When candidates were too dissimilar, speed-daters became confused by many conflicting factors – and often failed to choose anyone.”There are models of human ‘rationality’ which posit that variety is a good thing,” said researcher Alison Lenton at the University of Edinburgh in Scotland.”What will be surprising to some people is that our results suggest that increasing option variety leads to chooser confusion. People are more likely to choose no-one at all when faced with greater variety.”The study, published in the British journal Biology Letters, tracked 1,868 female and 1,870 male participants at 84 commercial speed-dating events.

“We’re all in this alone.” Lily Tomlin

Speed-daters met in groups and engaged in three-minute encounters with between 15 and 31 singles of the opposite sex.After the event, the organiser matched up individuals who indicated a mutual interest in each other, thus opening the way to a possible date.Big speed-dating events typically generated 123 such “proposals,” or shows of interest, when candidates were similar, the researchers found. But the number dropped by more than a quarter, to 88, when candidates were varied.Small speed-dating events would lead to 85 proposals when candidates were similar. But this fell by nearly a third, to 57 proposals, when candidates were varied.Men were generally keener than women in formulating a proposal – but were also likelier to be stumped by choice.In short, variety is fine… but in manageable doses.”Dealing with variety requires attention and memory, and we have only so much capacity for each,” Lenton explained in an email with AFP.Extending encounters by 10 minutes might not greatly change results, she said.”It is extremely common for us to make quick judgments about other people, even in a matter of seconds. And once those judgments are formed, they can be difficult to change.”

“The surest cure for vanity is loneliness.” Thomas Wolfe

There was another BBC article that also caught my eye The price of finding love: How much would you pay? which was good to read that some people value the services of a good matchmaker to ease their loneliness.

And the more you are willing to pay, the more bespoke the service.For instance, a higher premium may get you your own personal matchmaker and priority introductions to new members, or the agency may even place personal adverts on your behalf if necessary and then screen the respondents.The kind of money we are talking about is much more than you would associate with an online dating site.Some dating websites are completely free to use. For the more popular ones like mysinglefriend.com or match.com, subscriptions start in the region of £22 to £32 a month, but get lower if you sign up for a longer period.By contrast, services on offer at the County Register range in price from £2,000 for 12 months’ membership to £10,000 for 18 months’ membership.At some other agencies, £10,000 is just the starting level.

I’d like to leave you with this funny video about The Lonely Astronaut, beware expletives…LOL

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  • http://www.hsvdating.net/ Lisa, romantic soul

     Lonely astronaut is a good video. Thanks!

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