Picking Up Extramarital Dates Online
Why Marrieds Do It
Married people have been using personal ads since…well, the beginning of personal ads. The fact that the Internet makes dating easy is all the more motivation for a lonely person to seek romantic attention online. Married users looking for dates online are usually not stereotypical “lowlife cheaters” like society labels them. They are usually people every bit as sad and lonely as the average single person.
Just because a person is married doesn’t mean he or she is having any sex. And even if he or she is, that doesn’t mean the sex is enjoyable. Therefore, the unhappily married person seeks extramarital partners. Perhaps it is a selfish act, but with the prevalence of easy to use dating sites, it’s just as much of an impulsive act.
When we are single and we date, we never think of the consequences of dating. All we think about is the overwhelming desire to love someone. Similarly, with cruising marrieds, they shut the consequences out of their mind and focus on the momentary joys of dating again.
The Secret Married Vs. the Openly Married
The truth is that there are many matchmaking sites that cater to unhappily married adults and swinging couples. However, many mainstream matchmaking sites prohibit married people from registering. Indeed, dishonesty is truly the key issue here. It’s not fair for a married person to cheat on his/her unknowing mate, and it’s not fair for single people to be deceived by someone who has no real interest in a committed relationship.
Statistics show that most cheaters hardly ever leave their mates, even when they’re unhappy, and even when they promise a new lover that they will soon reveal the truth. These individuals simply want to address a need that is missing, while keeping the family or household arrangement intact. Unfortunately, for naïve singles who become entangled in such a mess, many married cruisers actually like the drama that accompanies the affair. Some cheaters will never actually venture out beyond emailing or chatting fun. An in-person affair might be too much to risk.
The psychology of the married cruiser (particularly the ones who keep it a secret) is complex and can be dangerous to a single person who is looking for a legitimate online relationship.
How Do You Know If You’re Dating a Married Person?
How can you tell if the person you like is married? First of all, look for patterns in your talking or chatting time. Married cheater have a set schedule that cannot be violated (especially evening), in fear of alerting the innocent mate. Single people usually have no obligations, and enjoy chatting in the evening hours.
Married people only use their cell phones and usually limit talking or chatting time to daytime hours. If the person in question avoids showing you family photos, or doesn’t want you knowing where he/she lives, or wants you to sleep over, then these could be some major red flags. Cheaters have a rolodex of excuses whenever you make plans, usually because they can’t get away from the old ball and chain.
You can also look for signs of a wedding ring (i.e. a circle of lighter skin around the ring finger) and try to meet some of his/her friends and family. A truly single person wouldn’t mind making you a part of his or her life. A married person looking only for online sex, will freak out at the very thought!
Use discretion in online dating and always keep things safe and honest!
