online dating FAIL

Converting free users to those who are willing to pay may be a hard sell. A user survey at PlentyofFish revealed that an average dater uses three different dating sites before settling on a favorite. Of the current PlentyofFish members, only 15% are also paying for a subscription dating service, while 62% had tried paid online dating in the past, Frind says. That’s not the kind of math paid sites want to hear.

A facebook friend directed me to an older Live Science article Online Dating: Why it Fails By Jeanna Bryner

The next time you log onto a dating site, you might want to add “mysterious” to your list of desired traits, because the less you know about a potential mate the better.
A new study of romantic relationships finds that as online daters got to know another person over time, their initially sweet notions turned sour. The researchers suggest that inflated expectations can lead to major disappointments when daters meet in person. Once a flaw is spotted, the whole date is tainted.
The main message from the group’s study, Norton said, is that people should realize that the rules for online dating and real-world dating are the same. In the real world, “You’re accustomed to it being difficult to find people; you’re accustomed to meeting people and not really clicking,” Norton said. “Don’t assume that because you log onto a Web site and there are all these options that it’s going to be any easier.”
These results also showed that getting to know a person is a real downer for romance. The scores given to pre-dates were much higher than those for post-dates. And the perceived degree of similarity between participants and dates also took a dive after face-to-face encounters.
Participants gave much lower ratings to potential dates and also perceived less similarity with them when they were shown greater, rather than fewer, numbers of traits.
Fantasies vanishing with knowledge is a process that hits women harder than men, said Michael Norton of Harvard Business School and one of the study’s authors.
“On online dates, women are much, much more disappointed than men,” Norton said. Women put more stock in the virtual dating world because they seek a soul mate, he said, whereas men are typically after a more casual relationship.
It’s not that familiarity always breeds contempt, the researchers say. But on average, as you learn more about any lover, the less likely it is that you will click and get along with them, Norton explained.

This is  a big dilemma as we note that online dating is failing to deliver and social networks provide a better foundation but can be a hit & miss experience because they are not set up to support relationships or partnerships.  facebook has caused a lot of problems in relationships along with providing possibilities to connect with potential mates.  I have to disagree that knowing about a potential partner can cause disinterest but it may be more helpful to learn about the main points whilst relating or having fun as in old fashioned courtship or through developing strong bonds through friendship.  ’In Love’ is different than ‘Loving’ someone, and can be just as romantic & thrilling but depends on the slow process of seeing another in action in life.  And also  experiencing the other person in respect to how they interact with you & share on your shared journey.  As you know,  I believe that we need to share similar traits with partners but also need opposite traits to stimulate attraction, excitement & interest.  Unless the current dating sites get creative, we may see further lack of interest in their services.
What do you think?
Here’s a funny (or maybe too close to the truth) video about the perils of online dating.  Enjoy…..