for better or worse

» Posted in Love, Relationships at

are we better or worse if we stay in relationships or marriages, for ‘better or worse’? The great benefit about commitment to another person, is that we feel safe enough to expose more vulnerable aspects of ourselves. This benefits a couple because that allows for more intimacy between the two people. That is the heart of a good relationship!

Chasing groom

However we are also easily lulled into a dull consciousness borne of habit & familiarity. The longer the relationship continues the more liable it is for this to happen. The stronger the sense of comfort and security, then the duller & deeper the slip into unconsciousness. We stop seeing our partner & worse still we stop connecting to ourselves, not wanting to rock the boat, so to speak. It may take an effort of will and attention to stay awake.

Bride pushing car

Rather than making a commitment to each other for better or worse, we have a responsibility to ourselves & our partner, to make a commitment to stay awake! How do we stay awake when everything is veering towards sleep? A good method is to check in with yourself every day, whether through meditation or creative pursuits. The next step is to check in with each other regularly (more than once a week), to ensure you both know what is going on! This must extend beyond what you had for breakfast & how the work day went. After these updates, it is important to consciously incorporate positive change or movement in the relationship based on the information gathered from both parties.

Just Divorced

Life sometimes awakens us from these relating slumbers with events that appear to come from outside of us. And sometimes a partner will awaken before the other. At these times it is the responsibility of whoever is affected to share what is happening for them with their partner. If this antidote is applied quick enough, it can forestall an end or crisis to the relationship, through bringing in another partner or love interest.

Fortune cookie

Commitment is about aligning ourselves and each other with our values & the ever changing vistas of our horizons. If we are vigilant about this awareness whilst enjoying our relationship & our life, then worse can become better.

I leave you with a great comedy sketch about getting married….

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