living together successfully can either be a wonderful learning & sharing experience or a real test for any couple. Unfortunately the latter has the higher percentage of entrants in the couple stakes. There are several components to the question how to live together successfully?
“All marriages are happy it’s living together afterwards that causes all the problems.” Raymond Hull
The more similar we are, then the easier living together will be. Bill Allin also suggested in a recent post ‘If Sex is so Great, Why Does it Screw Up so Many Lives’ that partners should be found for each stage of life. If we are conscious of ourselves and know what stage of life we are involved with, then we can consciously choose a partner to match. The requirement in this is that we have some level of consciousness of self (not self consciousness)!
“Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success.” Henry Ford
The other important piece is to define what living together means for you. There are various levels:
- really live-ing
- barely breathing
“The concerts you enjoy together; neighbors you annoy together; children you destroy together: that make marriage a joy” Stephen Sondheim
Then the steps to living together successfully are
- Decide individually what you want to experience generally in life
- Come to a mutual agreement with your partner for which level you both want to aim
- Agree to support each other when conscious levels drop to stay at your chosen level of living together.
Real success in living together will be achieved with these steps! (Possibly easier to read & post than to actually do for some of us?
“There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn’t give a damn what goes on in between.” Sir Thomas Beecham
- We are tolerant of each other’s differences
- Communicate to each other our own needs & preferences
- Listen to each other’s needs & preferences
- Respect ourselves & each other no matter what happens
then we can fit with each other best & live together successfully.
“People nowadays like to be together not in the old-fashioned way of, say, mingling on the piazza of an Italian Renaissance city, but, instead, huddled together in traffic jams, bus queues, on escalators and so on. It’s a new kind of togetherness which may seem totally alien, but it’s the togetherness of modern technology.” J. G. Ballard
I’ll leave you with a really funny interpretation of what living together means for a lot of people….. Enjoy!
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