intimate is not just women’s underwear, it is the subtle foundation of any good relationship. The word intimate is defined in the dictionary as pertaining to the inmost character of a thing; fundamental. The word comes from the Latin intimatus “make known, announce, impress,” and intimus “inmost”. It all sounds pretty intense doesn’t it but also so… attractive to be seen by another & accepted, let alone loved! Before moving on from the intimate apparel theme, thought you might enjoy this great photo from Flickr.
Of course there is no such thing in love relationships as a little intimate, because by love’s very nature it implies that we are honest with the whole damn thing, rather than showing glimpses of who we are and then hiding again. We all have areas that we feel we should hide from others for whatever reasons. In our culture the rarefied atmosphere of the mind is held high and feelings are repressed or depressed. Feelings are seated in our bodies and so the body is often the place where our vulnerability is easily exposed.
Of course most of us relate to intimacy as a sexual kinda thing, but intimacy actually demands much more of us than just physical coupling. The physical act of sex really exposes our most vulnerable aspects through our bodies and our feelings which can be triggered by this physical exchange. Once a little intimacy is experienced, it seems that all levels want to come to the intimacy party – mental, emotional, physical and spiritual ! Of course that can be shattering to our sense of control and individuality! But it can also be ecstatic, liberating and relaxing as the healing power of love effects its miracles!
An example courtesy of the ladybirds from Flickr…
I had the biggest lessons in intimacy of my life many years ago, when I worked with men who were dying of AIDS. There is no more struggle to pretend or hide any more when our body no longer co-operates with the dance of life. We are no longer involved and have no more investment in the delights & banalities of life’s superficialities any more. As a result of facing our mortality & death we are able to be who we are, warts & all, with others. Paradoxically we can have more fulfillment in our relationships as well as feel somewhat detached from the need to control things that are often outside of our control: others & our environment. The Tibetan lamas say that the best meditation to bring you into the present moment is the death meditation i.e., meditation on your own death! Its amazing how quickly you can recognize what is really important!
Here is a funny video from YouTube on intimacy between a couple….
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