match made in hell?

» Posted in Matchmaking, Relationships, humor at

we are all looking for a match made in heaven but many find the opposite, a match made in hell. Even in my work as a matchmaker, being human I make mistakes too. Although the goal is of course to avoid mistakes in matching, there is no way to avoid mistakes sometimes.

“Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy racing back and forth between partners. Some relationships are the slow, dark dance of death.” Colette Dowling

You may be having a bad match day or make a miscalculation or just a little out of touch at that point? Whatever the reason for the mismatch, it is important once you realize the error that you do something about it. Remember hell can get very hot & is generally uncomfortable for most of us!

“Hell is other people.” Jean-Paul Sartre

What to do when you find yourself in a match made in hell?

Define what heaven & hell means for you
Identify whether you are in hell
Define what a match made in heaven looks like for you
Wake up & see what you can do to change the relationship
Ask your partner what heaven & hell mean for them?
Ask your partner for feedback: Are they in hell too?
Ask your partner what a match made in heaven looks like for them?
See if your ideals match – if they don’t miss steps 7 to 8 & move straight to 9
Ask your partner what they can do to change the relationship
Work together, if you can, to transform the match to one made in heaven
Finally if you are still in hell get out of there – sever the relationship & move on!

“Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.” Abraham Lincoln

I have a colleague who earns his living very well through online trading. He told me once that what most people find difficult to do when doing online trading is to know when to stop & get out. Most people think because they’ve invested time & money they should stay & ride it out. A lot of people aren’t even aware of the cycles & trends in trading & only know how to trade technically and so can’t recognize when to cut their losses & stop. I was thinking that’s the same in relationships, you keep throwing good money after bad, figuratively speaking & before you know it you are having to find some way back to yourself from the deepest recesses of hell.

“I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.” Harry S Truman

Its always good to communicate to your partner in hell i.e., to explain why this is hell for you & then listen to why it is hell for them. This provides a good foundation of insight & understanding with which to try & build a match made in heaven once the hellish burns have healed. It needs to be put down to learning about yourself & relationships!

“Heaven for climate, Hell for company.” Sir James M. Barrie

Failing everything else if you are in a match from hell, get help by any means you can! There are professional means & also other friendly souls who just like to listen & help extricate others out of their own messes. Hell has too many costs & not enough returns!

“If I’m going to Hell, I’m going there playing the piano.” Jerry Lee Lewis

This woman in the following video is definitely the makings of a match made in hell watch out! Enjoy this funny video – some more Oz humor!

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