changing seasons of woman's needs
further to my post last on what a woman wants, I would like to explore the changing seasons or stages in a woman’s life and how that generally affects what she wants in her relationship with man. I add the disclaimer that this is a generalization and that each woman is an individual and therefore ultimately subject to her own preferences.
“To understand one woman is not necessarily to understand any other woman.” John Stuart Mill
I am going to divide Woman Seasons into the four seasons that we experience on the planet every year. The first season is SPRING and relates to women from about 16 up to the age of 28 to 30. This is when she is exploring who she is and subject to the force of her age. The woman usually wants a mate to set up house with and to produce babies. This is a very instinctual time and her hormones propel her to her goal of finding a suitable mate. This means a man that can provide & look after her & her babies. In this season she may not have access to self reflection and is often not fully aware of her own potential and her deep needs. Her instincts propel her to her fate, whether happy or challenging.
“I have always felt that a woman has the right to treat the subject of her age with ambiguity until, perhaps, she passes into the realm of over ninety. Then it is better she be candid with herself and with the world.” Helena Rubinstein
The second season of Woman is SUMMER which is from around 30 to 40 years. This is when a woman is starting to truly come into her own body and psyche. She will often look for a lover man who can support her maturing sexuality. Her feminine potential is ripening and she feels comfortable in her own body now. She starts to explore and acknowledge herself as a woman and therefore needs equality in her relationships with men. She wants a man who is willing to listen to her sexual needs and learn to satisfy them. She is also happy for a man to worship her and at the very least to acknowledge her. Her identity does not hinge or depend on the man in her life as it would in SPRING season of Woman, the relationship should just enhance who she is now.
“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.” Ziggy
The next season is FALL or AUTUMN and this age is between 40 & 50 years for a woman. She is starting to notice changes & possibly frailty in her body and commonly experiences the beginning of Menopause & most definitely Peri Menopause, the lead up to ‘The Change’ (asi it is often called). There can be challenges during these years with health and there are definitely changes of focus or orientation. This is the time that a woman can truly come into her inner power. She knows her limits and her strengths much better now and she doesn’t tolerate fools easily and likes to proceed directly from A to B. Life seems short now with no time to waste and she wants to fit as much in as she can. Quality is more important than quantity. So at this point she may need more independence from her man and definitely more respect as she flows into new & interesting life adventures. She may also like more mental challenge from her contact with men and she may look for a lover who is more of an artisan and can prolong her pleasure rather than race for the finish line quickly!
“Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.” Jeanne Moreau
The last Woman Season is WINTER and is from around 50 or so till the end of a woman’s life. Now I’m not an expert after only 57 years on the planet but my observation is that this period of a woman’s life is a coming home to her soul. She may not need anything from a man now & if she does it may just be his companionship & love as her partner. She is able to see all of who she is now, she is not burdened with the constrictions of hormonal changes that the last 3 seasons demand. She can enjoy herself, others & life and she can offer her valuable wisdom to others. She is like the finest wine and should be honored & sipped appropriately. She has much more choice now whether to take a lover or not but she is highly demanding & may prefer to be alone rather than compromise her standards. She is more able to stand in her own right now than at any other time in her life. This is the time when she can enjoy the fruits of her life.
“Woman is the future of man. That means that the world which was once formed in man’s image will now be transformed to the image of woman. The more technical and mechanical, cold and metallic it becomes, the more it will need the kind of warmth that only the woman can give it. If we want to save the world, we must adapt to the woman, let ourselves be led by the woman, let ourselves be penetrated by the Ewigweiblich, the eternally feminine!” Milan Kundera
This is my experience of the changing seasons of woman and what she wants in relationships. But I would love to hear your feedback, the silence was deafening on my last post. It makes me realize that if women don’t openly & confidently speak about what they want in relationships, then it it is no wonder there is so much dissatisfaction. We are responsible for what we want, we cannot expect men to be mind readers or to understand who we are. We ultimately hold the chalice and must ensure that we receive the wine of Love & life and drink fully.
“Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.” Dorothy L. Sayers
If a man is flexible, agile and willing to move with a woman’s seasons & cycles then he can meet her needs in every season. Then there is no need for changing of partners as she changes….. I love the Hindu coverage of the stages in everyone’s life. First you are a householder and you go about the daily business of work & raising a family. When the children leave & start their own families then you can caste off your worldly possessions and become a ‘sadhu’ or holy person and wander around with a begging bowl, matted hair & body covered in ash! In this crazy western world the sadhu’s life can be found in many guises.
Check this out this time lapse photography of one woman aging: ‘Woman Age: Actual Elapsed Time: 69 years (2.2 billion seconds)’ Amazing!!!!
No doubt you have seen the wonderful video of JK Wedding Entrance Dance? I found it such fun & so heart warming that I had to watch it a few times & I still enjoy watching it – what a celebration! Here it is if you managed to miss it!
As a video response, here is further fun with the imagined divorce 6months later. Enjoy….
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Date posted: | Under category: Love, Matchmaking, Relationships, humor
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[...] have differing needs. I would like to add to my previous posts on What Do Women Want? & Changing Seasons of Women’s Needs with this brief investigation. I’m from the Baby Boomer generation & really can only [...]