It’s fairly easy to tell when a guy is needy in person. He invades personal space, makes all kinds of gooey faces and hangs around his crush constantly! There is an easy solution for that. Stop needing her so much and put on your best James Dean pose. Problem solved.
However, you may also be wondering if you’re appearing too “needy” online. This is a bit of a tough one. After all, how do you show interest online? Isn’t it by chatting, the same thing that apparently paints you as a needy guy? Not necessarily. Needy guys online are identified by what they say and how often they say it.
The Most Common Mistakes
The most common mistakes needy guys make is in becoming too time demanding. While girls don’t mind being entertained online, they do find it distasteful to have to babysit their lonely guy friend, who apparently has no other life except to ask boring questions. As soon as a woman stops being entertained and feels a formality to the situation, it’s time to step back a few chats.
This is an easy one. If you run out of things to say, then stop chatting. Invent an excuse and say you have to go take care of CIA business or something. There is no shame in taking a break and there should be no pressure to entertain your crush 24-7.
Obviously, sending a barrage of emails, texts or instant messages, in superfast succession is not going to win you any points. It makes you look hyperactive or overly excited to be chatting with a real life woman. Do not type extra sentences to fill lapses or silences in the conversation. Just go with the flow. Honestly, if the woman keeps you waiting for five minutes without a reply, she’s obviously busy or uninterested. Be a class act and dismiss yourself.
Be careful about appearing too excited in conversation. Do not use too many exclamation points. Stop yourself if you sense that you’re starting to talk like SpongeBob SquarePants. Women like guys who are confident and in control of their emotions. It’s safe to say that first impressions are even more important when you date online than when you date in person. After all, a nice body and strong in-room presence can accommodate for lame conversation. Not so, when you’re online and making a fool of yourself.
Are You Needy in More Subtle Ways?
All right, so let’s say you get the whole “don’t be a psycho” lesson. Moving on, it is very easy for a guy who’s fallen for a girl to appear needy in casual conversation—even if he isn’t trying to manipulate his date. One subtle pitfall is in agreeing with everything the woman says. Whenever you sense that you are becoming afraid to disagree with her, there is a major storm of rejection coming!
Guys who don’t “need” are proud to have their own opinions and aren’t afraid of a little conflict. (Sometimes a little flirty conflict makes for strange bedfellows!) Furthermore, men who are content with themselves do not rearrange their entire lives just to please a date. In other words, don’t be too available. It robs her of the joy of missing you, and shows her that you really have no life besides nightly conversations.
There’s nothing wrong with chatting online, even every night, if the two of you are having fun. However, if you sense that she is losing interest because of your 24-7 accommodation, then it’s best to pull back and take a surf. No, not a Yahoo surf, but a surf at the beach. Get off the computer and become reacquainted with the joys of nature, while your online dates start to miss you. It never fails!