Ladies, it’s tough to cut the cord – sometimes it seems a less-than-perfect boyfriend is better than no boyfriend at all, right? Not so in the online world. Whether your dating site love’s gotten creepy, desperate or just isn’t hitting those high notes anymore you’ve got the right, nay the duty to set him free. Here’s how I did it on the JDate dating site which I was dating some one from:
Don’t Just Disappear – The great thing about dating online is that it’s relatively anonymous. The bad thing about dating online is that it’s relatively anonymous. Just because the web allows you to hit “ignore” and “delete” easier than the real world does doesn’t mean you should just start pretending your online suitor doesn’t exist. Karma has a way of sneaking up on you when dating online so do unto others.
Make it Clear – Countless romantic comedies tell us women have a harder time being firm than men, but when you’re breaking it off with someone whether in real life or online you’ve got to stay strong. Don’t mince words and say things like, “Well, maybe sometime in the future when work slows down,” or “Maybe I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.” Tell him why you’re no longer interested (gently, though…turn ‘bad breath’ into ‘no physical chemistry’) and make it clear that you don’t want to keep communicating. There’s no friend zone in online dating.
Don’t Poke at Him – We’ve all been there. It’s midnight and you’re lonely and hey, Chad47Boston really wasn’t that bad, was he? Resist the urge to send that wink or email (subject: Just thinking about you! ) if you’re not actually looking to rekindle a real relationship. Block his profile if you must but make it easy for everyone to move on once you’ve made your decision. No need to reopen old wounds.
Use the Features – Most dating sites have some great online features for keeping people out of your digital circle if you so choose. If Mr. Wrong just won’t take no for an answer feel free to report him or even block his screen name from contacting you. In the real world it’s called stalking…online it’s called persistence. Know the difference and don’t feel guilty for being aloof.
No one wants to be the bad guy – it’s hard breaking up with someone particularly if they’re a wonderful catch, just not the right catch for you. The best thing you can do when you decide to end it online is be honest, respectful and then keep your distance. Your online ex doesn’t want to run into you on a chat room any more than you want to run into your college boyfriend in a bar.