eharmony threatens human survival: ‘similar’ is not all there is to matching couples

The popular dating website has tens of millions of users around the globe and claims that the marriages it engenders last longer and are more contented than normal. It bases its matches between singles on compatibility traits. “This is the problem”, one genetics researcher, Dr. Tsung Foo of Apple Fertility Clinic, a new app for the iPhone, professes, “since compatibility is not a natural human species mating trait. That is not how sex works.”
Geneticists argue that it will inevitably lead to species homogeneity in generations to come which will threaten extinction. How? Personality compatibility is realized only when there is sameness regarding human attributes.
If an individual is attracted to and paired with another with the same attributes this will result in the genes of those attributes being dominant, thus eliminating genes of unlike attributes – especially if the children take up the practice of compatibility mating, and owing to the success of eHarmony this is very likely. Without crossbreeding of dissimilar attributes the gene pool will shrink.
“This is the point of sex”, says Foo, “for the sake of species survival the largest and most diverse gene pool is desired. That means steering away from homogeneity. It is a fundamental rule of Natural Selection.”
“If humans seek individual compatibility, breeding those traits will result in amassing together homogenous sub-groups who think and feel alike,” Tsung Foo asserts.
“These sub-groups would enlarge as more individuals would find their home within them and continued to breed. In time, under the pressure of competition, only a few would dominate. But ultimately, individuals within these large sub-groups would become as similar as say, Bison. The sub-group populations will be as vulnerable as them. Sure Bison are handsome creatures that have the same tastes in food and lifestyles, and did very well proliferating to a dominant species position on the open plains in huge numbers. But look where they are today.”
Does Nature want us to look for so close a compatible mate? Not if you consider my parents, or probably yours. They did speak the same language, which at times appeared to be the only question they would answer compatibly on eHarmony’s questionnaire.

There is of course a need for similarity for couples so that there is a degree of comfort, encouraging them to relax together and increasing their shared experiences.  But without contrasting qualities this can become bland, boring & encourage unconsciousness.

“Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence.” William Blake

 

According to geneticists harmony is fine, but we are attracted to “otherness” – difference, opposition (obvious in opposite sex), strengths to our weaknesses and weakness to our strengths. Friction is needed for the sparks of passion to ignite. And this has driven the mating process since Adam and Eve (Did he share her hobby and fascination with Herpetology?).
Natural Selection is served by uniting diverse genes producing diverse offspring insuring survival of the species. Now seriously, what man really likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain?
If eHarmony persists compatibility will sublimate physical attraction in the mating relationship to fall under its command thus taming base instinct and primal intuition. The need for similarity will reign over how hot the potential mate is. The gene pool will diminish and weaken and be unprepared for environmental challenges. Mutants will be produced of course, but they will remain outside the status quo, which will be vulnerable to any attack by viruses or solar flares. The future of our species will be placed in jeopardy.

This article of course doesn’t mention the unseen dimension of consciousness & awareness & the ability to learn from each other, all so important for humans whether there is a lot of press about this or not.  However in my experience as a relationship/matching expert, this is the piece that needs to be addressed or everyone goes to sleep on this level.  Then for certain types of personality, all interest is lost & for others, the level of stability & comfort is intensified without any effort.  Remember the Wisdom of Insecurity!

“Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.” Andy Warhol

Online dating has great potential to support people in finding a great match, but only with a great matching system that is balanced with the attraction piece.  This will not threaten the survival of the human race but continue as Nature intended.  It will also support the majority of users to find enough comfort to maintain relationships long term.  This of course is what as a culture we are really struggling with, how to maintain our relationships & keep them alive.
I’d like to leave you with a really funny video ‘Advice From A Cartoon Princess: Snow White’, these are the sort of stories on which in the West we are raised.  You’ve just got to laugh!  Enjoy…

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