relationships need to have a value on individual freedom & choice to flourish & grow & so do communities.  Privacy is not bad in relationships, if based on choice.  I love the net, but recently was disappointed to find that some of the big companies are trying to demolish privacy.  The word ‘private’ comes from the late 14c Latin privatus “set apart, belonging to oneself” (not to the state), used in contrast to publicus, communis.  There seems to be a risk that these companies are brainwashing us into thinking that privacy is no longer needed as a result of social media but surely we are smarter than that?  Is this really not a ploy to turn the tide in their favor so that they can have more power & make more money (not that any of the culprits really need to have any more power or money than they have already?)

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Now for a lighter look at dating, here are some very funny London Business Review personal ads that a client sent me the other day.  The principle idea is that the LBR readership is too sophisticated and filled with ennui to trot out the usual walks on the beach and sunsets rubbish, hysterical:

• I celebrated my fortieth birthday last week by cataloguing my collection of bird feeders. Next year I’m hoping for sexual intercourse. And a cake. Join my invite mailing list at box no. 6831. Man
• If intense, post-fight sex scares you, I’m not the woman for you (amateur big-boned cage wrestler, 62). Box no. 8744.

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Changes in personal communication in the social media age.  Make sure you can hear each other above the din!

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as mentioned in past posts we all have different values in relationships & its important to identify our highest value & ensure that our close personal relationships can provide us with what we need.  For me I think the major value in a relationship is friendship.  I’m a boomer & loved being part of a group of friends at high school & remember my mother who it could be said never had a close friend whilst I was growing up, said to me ‘You love your friends more than you love your family!’  It may have been true and friends & my community of friends (although spread across the world now, having lived on a few continents) are still extremely important to me.

“Friendship is always a sweet responsibilty, never an opportunity.” Kahil Gibran

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asking the big question today, if you are a woman: what do you want from online dating? The gender divide brings a complexity to real life dating & even more so to online dating.

‘The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does a woman want?”‘ Sigmund Freud

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