breaking the rules in relationships?

are you a rule breaker or a follow-the-rules type of person in a relationship? These days this is a complex question because there are also different types/options in rules which appeal to different types of people. The origins of the word rule meaning “principle or maxim governing conduct,” are from the Old French riule and from the Latin regula meaning “straight stick, bar, ruler, pattern”. Humans are generally not ‘straight‘ due to the complexity of our emotions, minds & bodies. However we have to live together and most rules exist to support us in survival socially.

“It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you’re young just so you’ll have the strength to break them when you’re old.” Mark Twain

Lets have a look at the different models that exist now in society by looking at today’s online community as an example of current social rules.  Social networks are currently in vogue for most of us online.  However even within the social networks there are different structures.

• Facebook which is currently the most popular social network is a gated community where a few people make the rules.  To live on facebook, you have to follow the rules or you get kicked out – simple!  You get to play the games, speak with your friends and get information – lotsa fun!  Management of facebook say that they listen to the noise on the network and improve the social structure through that feedback?

“Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.” Mary Lou Cook

• Then there are social networks that are highly focused & organized with plenty of structure & rules.  Linkedin is a good example of this kind of social network which is focused on business.  In this network individuals don’t have any say in the rules but just need to abide by them to get the value in this social network.  There are no other options with a social network such as this, you either follow the rules or you are not in the network & then of course you can’t access any of its benefits either.

“You are remembered for the rules you break.” Douglas Macarthur

• Other types of social networks are based on Ning where you can create your own social network & create your own rules based on the broad base of the Ning structure.  In other words you can’t create anything on Ning that is outside of the tools that are supplied in the basic structure.  These social networks can be highly creative & individual & subject to the community’s own rules.

“I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them?” Leo Durocher

These current examples of social structures also reflect the options that are available for us in our personal relationships.  In matching couples it is important to identify what type of preference the individual has for general social interaction & inclusion.  If you match a facebook type with a Linkedin type there may tend to be conflict & one or the other may seem to break the rules of the other’s social rules.  This can be very offensive to a partner & damaging to a personal relationship.

We also tend to take home our social rules, some more than others.  This can bring huge conflict into the personal domain when it appears that a partner appears not to be following the rules.  It can also oppress one person over the other’s preference particularly if one partner is stronger in conviction or assertion or of their social rules or just more dominant.

“To me the female principle is, or at least historically has been, basically anarchic. It values order without constraint, rule by custom not by force. It has been the male who enforces order, who constructs power structures, who makes, enforces, and breaks laws.” Ursula K. Le Guin

Astrologically there are two main planets that would address social rules and they are Saturn & Jupiter. These two planets find it hard to co-exist although they must!  Their rules are based on different principles ie contraction & expansion and according to our individual preferences we may find a leaning towards one of these social principles.  These days we have wonderful creative opportunities socially just as there are so many different avenues for social interaction, online & offline.  The planet which leads the race in this area is a much more recent addition to the known solar system.  That planet is Uranus which orbits erratically and is associated more with anarchy or individual freedom.  This planet & its associations are demanding more integration socially now & so create opportunities for more creative options to the social rules.  To summarize it is helpful to understand what social structure & rules that help you live in the world & then make sure that you match with a partner who also has similar social rules.

Hope you enjoy this great & very funny ad which features the New Zealand All Blacks doing the haka & the Scottish retort!  Hysterical & suggestive of how to get away with breaking the rules……

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