Continuing the theme from last week do romantic movies spill over into our relationships, I wanted to share some hilarious photos that my sister sent me from Oz.  They show how fairy tale romances often end in REAL life.

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romantic movies tend to spill over into our relationships and can create unrealistic expectations of others.  The word romance comes from 1300 meaning “story of a hero’s adventures,” “vernacular language of France” (as opposed to Latin), and originates from Old French romanz “verse narrative, the connecting notion is that medieval vernacular tales were usually about chivalric adventure.  We may have lost a sense of adventure when it comes to our relationships and are left now to live this out through Hollywood movies?

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if we are looking for a romantic partner it is important to get the complete & whole picture of who they are rather than breaking all their attributes down into pieces & analyzing them with our mind too much.  Unfortunately this is just what online dating sites rely on in profiles, where all interests & personality traits are listed.  Dan Ariely, Director of The Center for Advanced Hindsight, thinks that this encourages superficial assessments of others & causes a lot of dissatisfaction with online dating sites.

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it seems that we are such social animals now that even breaking up & divorce is catching too in social networks, not just loneliness!  I read about some recent research that suggest that when your friends or family split that it gives others confidence to do it too.  I gather & would hope that would only be if the expiration date on the relationship/marriage had come due or was overdue.  Nothing stays the same & people & relationships change over time and it is unrealistic to think that two people will stay together FOREVER.  Some do that’s true & it is brilliant that they are able to integrate their love with their personal development & evolvement.  But for the rest of us it seems we have to be ready to roll with the fast pace of life & intense pressures that we face in modern life.  Every individual ultimately will move & grow in the direction that they choose and we cannot limit or manipulate a partner’s path by demanding that they do what we want or go our way!  Ultimately that will come back & hit you in the face, control & manipulation of another never really work to anyone’s benefit in my experience.

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Online dating FAILS because sites often don’t deliver what their customers need, great matches with potential partners. The gap between virtual & real is a big challenge, but cannot be fixed by tricks of SEO & subterfuge by sites. We are on the threshold of changing times due to technology & this comes down to a challenge to stretch the gray matter & use new creative ways to solve the problems caused by this gap. Unfortunately the online dating industry generally speaking has never been innovative & has contributed to its own troubles & lack of faith from their customers.

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