why cant online dating sites be more like social networks?

wouldn’t it be great if online dating sites were more like social networks?  These days most people spend a lot of time interacting on social networks, you dont have to be a geek now!  I have to own up to being very partial to social networks and find that in contrast online dating sites can be less friendly or able to deliver a good match, probably due to their fear of loss of customers?

“There are three kinds of death in this world. There’s heart death, there’s brain death, and there’s being off the network.” Guy Almes

I’m pretty partial to Twitter as I have used it since early 2007.  I still haven’t lost my passion for it even though now you have to wade through spam & internet marketers intent on not having real conversations.  I love connecting with people & love conversation and so the era of social networks has only reinspired me.   I am more than willing to support the high esteem with which communication is held now because this is one of my own highest personal values too.  Whilst researching this post I found on Flickr fotos & this funny video of the Twitter Goddess by daveelf.  Very smart to create Twitter in the image of a goddess, considering the power & fascination it has for its users, myself included.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Jane Howard

Are you like me & often wish you could take your friends & possibly even family with you to online dating sites?  It doesn’t seem as fun or exciting when trying to share online dating experiences with those outside the internet dating world.  It can often feel disconnected from your life!  Also sometimes it can even be lonely when those that you are interested in are not paying any attention to your profile or others are giving it the wrong kind of attention.  These experiences certainly don’t encourage people to use online dating sites and many sites disappoint because they don’t encourage users by supporting good matches from fear of losing customers.  I have spent a lot of time reviewing online dating site relationship assessments or lack of them (see earlier posts).  Social networks are usually not set up for solely for dating and so usually lack any relationship assessments or matchmaking tools.  People meet & match by getting involved naturally in conversations that interest them or inadvertently through friends & friend’s feeds.

“She poured a little social sewage into his ears.” George Meredith

However there are a couple of dating sites of which I’m aware that are more like social networks in that you can take your friends with you who don’t necessarily need to be looking for a date.  So these sites use the power of the crowd (more specifically your crowd) to help you find a match.  This sort of thing used to happen naturally in communities but with life moving at the speed of sound now, people have less time & energy to help their friends meet & match with each other.  Engage & Sparkbliss (private online dating) are two sites that I know who have this model.   Whilst there are a number of mobile social networks which focus on dating such as funky,sexy,cool.com ; meetmoi.com & skout.com (all location based).  These sites sound like more fun & definitely offer the potential of great conversations & better matchmaking.  The thing I really love about social networks is the ‘power of the crowd’ which can often change the flavor of how you appreciate or don’t appreciate someone or something.  It is much more in context with life than being in virtual online dating profile land.  If something is out of balance or going in the wrong direction then at least a couple of people will be brave enough to say something.  However none of these sites appear to have any matchmaking algorithm apart from ‘the crowd’?  Do you know any more dating sites that are more like social networks?  Would love to hear from you?  Do you have experiences on the above sites or others, please give me some feedback – let’s have a conversation!

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” E. L.Doctorow

I’ll leave you with this very funny video from The IT crowd about dating on social networks.  Enjoy…..

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