Different strokes for different sites

I would like to continue the conversation about whether we are attracted to those who are the similar to us or different from us. , from Chemistry.com has developed her own theory about this issue and has recently published a book describing her theory ‘Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type’.  The four types are identified below as per their website:

Characteristics of all four personality types can be found within each of us, but there is almost always one personality type that is dominant. We call this the major personality type.
The Chemistry Profile also identifies your minor or secondary personality type. You exhibit some aspects of this personality type, though not to the same degree as with your major type.
Explorer: Known for high energy, high creativity and spontaneity. Seeks novelty, risk and pleasure. Intellectually curious and not easily swayed by opinion.
Builder: Usually very popular. Deep attachment to home and family. Calm demeanor and low anxiety. Often consistent, loyal and protective.
Negotiator: Excels at seeing the big picture, long-term planning and consensus building.  An intuitive thinker who is flexible, verbal and socially skilled. Imaginative, empathetic and nurturing.
Director: Daring, original, direct and inventive. A non-conformist. Skilled at abstract thinking and short-term planning. Often assertive and quite competitive. Tough-minded and efficient.

“Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.” Andy Warhol

Helen has associated certain neurotransmitters & hormones to each of the four categories.  I have added them below along with their brief explanation from Wikipedia:
1.    Explorers are associated with Dopamine.  Dopamine is a neurotransmitter occurring in a wide variety of animals and also a neurohormone released by the hypothalamus. Its main function as a hormone is to inhibit the release of prolactin from the anterior lobe of the pituitary.  Prolactin has many effects including regulating lactation, orgasms, and stimulating proliferation of oligodendrocyte precursor cell.  Dopamine has many functions in the brain, including important roles in behavior and cognition, motor activity, motivation and reward, inhibition of prolactin production (involved in lactation), sleep, mood, attention, and learning. Dopamine is commonly associated with the pleasure system of the brain, providing feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate a person proactively to perform certain activities.
2.    Builders are associated with Serotonin.  Serotonin is a monoamine neurotransmitter synthesized in serotonergic neurons in the central nervous system and enterochromaffin cells in the gastrointestinal tract of animals including humans. In the central nervous system, serotonin plays an important role as a neurotransmitter in the modulation of anger, aggression, body temperature, mood, sleep, human sexuality, appetite, and metabolism, as well as stimulating vomiting.
3.    Negotiators are associated with Estrogen.  Estrogens are a group of steroid compounds, named for their importance in the estrous cycle, and functioning as the primary female sex hormone.While estrogens are present in both men and women, they are usually present at significantly higher levels in women of reproductive age. They promote the development of female secondary sex characteristics, such as breasts, and are also involved in the thickening of the endometrium and other aspects of regulating the menstrual cycle.
4.    Directors are associated with Testosterone.  Testosterone is a steroid hormone from the androgen group. In mammals, testosterone is primarily secreted in the testes of males and the ovaries of females, although small amounts are also secreted by the adrenal glands. It is the principal male sex hormone and an anabolic steroid.  In both men and women, testosterone plays a key role in health and well-being as well as in sexual functioning. Examples include enhanced libido, increased energy, increased production of red blood cells and protection against osteoporosis, mental and physical energy & maintenance of muscle trophis.

“The opposite of love is not hate, the opposite of love is ignorance.” Brian Hwang

Helen’s theory holds that Explorers and Builders are attracted to their own type ie Explorer to Explorer & Builder to Builder.  However she has identified that Directors and Negotiators are attracted to each other, opposites attract ie Director to Negotiator.

“It is the stretched soul that makes music, and souls are stretched by the pull of opposites –opposite bents, tastes, yearnings, loyalties. Where there is no polarity –where energies flow smoothly in one direction –there will be much doing but no music.” Eric Hoffer

This seems more realistic than eharmony’s theory that like attracts like (see my past post ‘Like Attracts Like?’)   I’m sure we all know many couples who consist of two very different & opposite types of people.  What is your experience in the Attraction field – ‘opposites attract ‘or ‘like attracts like’?  I would like to continue this conversation in another post next week.

“The comic is the perception of the opposite; humor is the feeling of it.”Umberto Eco

You can watch a video where Helen is being interviewed about her theory by clicking this link on ABC News 20/20 Special “The Science of Seduction: Why Him? Why Her?”
In the meantime here’s an oldie but  a goodie, ‘Opposites Attract’ with Paula Abdul.  Enjoy…..

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