Review of eHarmony’s Relationship Assessment

eHarmony’s Relationship Assessment goes under the microscope today.  It certainly takes a while to complete & is not very entertaining or interesting to complete.  I have had a lot of feedback that some people appreciate the personality assessment but that many men don’t complete it on the site and therefore it doesn’t help the women to gage a good match.

To help you stick with the process whilst completing the questionnaire, there is a comment from the founder of eHarmony:

This process may seem long, but I believe it will be so worthwhile for you–just as it has been for so many others before.  Dr. Neil Clark Warren

The questionnaire was unremarkable and some people may find it difficult to hold their interest.  I will share my results as per below, as I turned out to be ‘Agreeable’?

Introduction to Agreeableness
This section of your profile describes your interactions with other people. The ways we communicate our feelings, beliefs and ideas to others are influenced by our cultural backgrounds, the way we were raised, and sometimes which side of the bed we got up on this morning. Some of us are very mindful of others making decisions we hope will be in their best interests, even if it means sometimes neglecting our own interests. Others of us believe each person should be responsible for themselves, taking deep pride in our own character and independence with a firm belief that others are best served by doing the same. The following describes how you engage with others; illustrating the dimension of your personality that determines your independence or your desire to reach out and touch others in meaningful ways.
You are best described as:
CONSISTENTLY TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
Words that describe you:
Uncompromising; Frank; Astute; Critical; Empirical; Tough; Discerning; Skeptical; Shrewd
A General Description of How You Interact with Others
When someone needs your help or wants you to do something you think before you act. See, at heart you believe deeply in personal freedom and individual responsibility. You think it is vital that people learn to take care of themselves so that they don’t become dependent upon others. You believe that actions have consequences, and people need to accept the consequences of their actions if they are to learn from their mistakes and grow. You believe you wouldn’t be doing anyone a favor if you lift someone out of trouble; they will never learn to lift themselves up if you keep rescuing them. And if you keep giving people a second, third or fourth chance, you have seen that people seldom develop the character they need to live decent and responsible lives.
You believe that compassion has a role to play in your life, in a structure of values that is encourages people to take care of themselves. Uncritical tenderheartedness does as much harm as good. You much prefer if people understand, in factual, empirical terms, how they got into trouble, and how they can lift themselves out of the mess they are in. In an emergency, of course, you’re there to offer help and if someone has helped you out in the past there is no question about your loyalty. But whenever it is realistic, you are convinced people should take care of themselves.
Along with this you devote adequate time to taking care of your own needs and wants, in part because it makes you happy with your life and in part because that’s what you truly believe every person should do. You cherish personal independence for yourself and others. Fostering such independence is the best way you find there is to love and care for others.
Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward YouYour emphasis on personal independence and personal responsibility may seem to lack in compassion to some people. Undoubtedly you have encountered people who feel this way toward you. And some may find you to be rather selfish. You do stay focused on your own life, take responsibility for your own problems, and are not always moved by situations in which some people think some action is required. That is part of you and your basic beliefs about life. And some people will inevitably want you to be different, but that is simply not who you are.
Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
You’re true to your beliefs and you hold yourself to the same expectations as you do with others. You are critical and tough with yourself, which gives you a consistency when you are critical and tough with others. And even when others don’t agree with you, people are likely to admire your frankness. You say what you believe, even if what you believe runs counter to the motives and beliefs of others.
And you keep reminding people of two things that few people can argue with, even if they don’t believe in them with your single-mindedness. Personal independence and personal responsibility matter to most people, and even the very compassionate admit that sometimes their hearts get in the way of what their heads know, which is to say that people should take care of themselves whenever they are able to do so. You remind people of this, in the honest way you live your own life and in the ways in which you respond, and don’t respond, to other people

I have to say that I wasn’t that impressed by the personality assessment – very basic & simple & even a bit inaccurate????  However if I would be willing to pay the rates to become a Premium Member then I could see potential match’s photos & get a more indepth report.  No thanks….

The assessment was developed by Dr Neil Clarke & colleague as quoted on their site:

In 1997, after 35 years practicing as a clinical psychologist and counseling thousands of married couples, Dr. Neil Clark Warren had come to believe that there was a better way to find love than leaving it up to chance. He knew from his experience in clinical work that although some American marriages were ending in divorce, many others were deeply satisfying unions of two fulfilled individuals. He observed that, in many cases, the marriages that endured were composed of compatible people, while marriages that deteriorated often did so because the differences between the individuals became harder to resolve over time. What if he could define the traits most likely to lead to relationship success? Could certain characteristics predict compatibility and lead to more satisfying relationships?
Dr. Warren set out to test this theory in collaboration with Dr. Galen Buckwalter, then a research professor at the University of Southern California. They sought to identify the characteristics between spouses that were consistently associated with the most successful relationships. After three years of research and development, they successfully identified the key dimensions of personality that predicted compatibility and the potential for long-term relationship success.

I could have saved them a lot of trouble & time as my astrological relationship algorithms work much better with much clearer & more detailed information.  It has been supported not only by my 30 years experience but also validated as astrology has been used for centuries to assist us to live better lives.

Some comments from Pandagon:

I once filled in their questionnaire when I was an intern at a place that wanted to create their own dating service. They went all over the Internet looking for surveys to try so that we could learn more about how they worked: typical questions, typical time to fill out the survey, etc

e-Harmony took me two bloody days! It was insane! It was so elaborate and filled with so much weird stuff. I just remember wanting to cry after about the 40th page of questions. And then, since I was already married, when they started trying to send me out on dates I had to say no.

The other weird thing about e-Harmony is that they don’t let you get into direct contact with matches. I believe they are the middle man until you meet.

I would give eHarmony’s assessment only a 4 out of 10, not really good enough even though Dr Neil Clarke spent so many  years working on it??? I’ll leave you with this funny spoof of eHarmony’s adds about the match between Google & YouTube.  Enjoy….

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