Today I am starting a review of all the online relationship/profile assessments.  I wanted to commence this services with a review of the Yahoo Personals Relationship Profile Assessment.  Unfortunately this assessment is only available for members on the Yahoo.com platform so you have to be based in the US to avail of it.  I completed this assessment a number of years ago when I was researching my online business of matchmaking.  I thought the report was very good particularly that it was free to complete when you signed up on Yahoo Personals.  It was created by the good people at WeAttract.com which no longer has a presence on the web?  (Let me know if you know where they have disappeared to?)

The main issue that I experienced then, was that not many men completed the long questionnaire so it was difficult to see who were matches & who weren't?  I gather that some people don't want to spend hours investing in questionnaires????  Also some people may lie on the questionnaires & that would not give accurate results either?  What do you think??

Yahoo Personals have 12 types of personalities as per below.  Which one fits for you?:

Explorers:Finding your way without a compass

Idealists: Opening the world to new possibilities

Leaders: Getting all you can out of life

Traditionalists: Bringing strength & stability to the world

Individualists: Finding your own path

Rebels: Challenging the status quo

Givers: Bringing out the best in others

Creators: Making your unique contribution to the world

Champions: Sharing your winning attitude

Protectors: Offering a safe harbor

Equalizers: Staying balanced & well-rounded

Observers: Finding inner peace

So you are identified as a personality type, then you are identified with a Love Style as per below.  What Love style fits for you?:

Romantic: You want and expect it all -- a lasting connection with someone on every level: mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual.

Passionate: You have the freedom to love intensely and completely-focusing only on the here and now.

Spontaneous:Love should be fun and natural; if it's not, you're probably not doing it right.

Destined: Finding your love is like finding the other part of yourself that makes you complete.

Sensible: You're looking to fall in love with a lifetime companion-someone who'll share the good times and the bad.

Careful: You uniquely appreciate the pain and loss that love can bring, but choose to love anyway.

The Yahoo Personals Assessment relationship report is very long - mine was 29 pages & very informative.  The whole thing includes:

• Introduction/Summary
• Your Favorite Type
• Your Detailed Comparison
• Best and Worst Fits
• Connecting Sexually
• Who You Attract
• Hot Buttons
• Breaking Past Patterns
• Emotional Intelligence
• Communication Style
• Handling Conflict
• Relationship Steps
• Stumbling Blocks
• What's Next
• All Personality Types
• All Love Styles

I came out as a Leader with a Passionate Love Style & according to this assessment an Idealist is the best match for me because:

• You'll be drawn to his kindhearted nature.
• He's great at motivating and energizing you to be your best.
• His intelligence will be obvious, and you'll be taken by the creative and inventive way his mind works.
• You'll find his ambition and competitive edge sexy.

I liked the report on 'Breaking Past Patterns' which supports people in making changes in relationship choices moving forward & having more success.  Mine came out as per below, helpful:

"You need to find a less critical and neglectful partner.  All serious relationships bring a mixture of good stuff (such as caring, support, and acceptance) and bad stuff (such as criticism, neglect, and manipulation). In the test, when you looked back on your last relationship, you recalled giving more good stuff than he did, while he gave more of the bad stuff.

Specifically, you often felt put down or criticized by your Ex. It's only natural that your partner would complain or get irritated with you sometimes. However, your Ex appears to have brought an added level of blame and anger to his complaints. In what he said, or how he said it, he implied that there was something wrong with you as a person."

The other part of the report that was interesting, a rating of what percentage I would match with other types:

• Champion 55%
• Creator 25%
• Equalizer 5%
• Explorer 15%
• Giver 5%
• Idealist 40%
• Individualist 35%
• Leader 30%
• Observer5%
• Protector25%
• Rebel 25%
• Traditionalist 15%

The other piece that was interesting was a percentage of dates where there would be mutual attraction.  Not sure how they calculate that but fascinating as per below:

"Will the attraction be mutual?
If you went out on 100 dates at random, how many do you think would result in a mutual attraction? This chart shows the percentage of dates where the two of you would be mutually attracted. Given your traits and the types you find attractive, the chart also shows the percentage of times neither of you would be interested and the times when one would be interested but not the other.

• You Like Each Other (4%)
• You Like Him (16%)
• He Likes You (29%)
• No Interest (51%)"

I found this assessment helpful & accurate with some things but it missed key issues/values that I would look for in a partner for myself.  Including an ability to sacrifice ego at times, something that most men find almost impossible to do.  It is promoted as being 30minutes worth of assessment time which only takes 10minutes due to media used in the assessment.  Even then 10minutes is obviously too much time for a lot of the men on Yahoo Personals?

What do you think about the Yahoo Personals Relationship Assessment & have you had success with this in finding a partner?  Let me know in the comments below.  Also if you have an assessment on your website, let me know so I can do a review on it.

Don't forget to pick up a copy of my ebook 'Does Your Catch Match?' - just submit your email on top right sidebar.

I will leave you with this funny cartoon about a mismatch with cars - lesson what you see is not always what you get!  Hysterical.....

[youtube]http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=RYlHv_OaCcI[/youtube]

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'where do you find a partner for a possible relationship?'  I used to ask this of myself & others & many of my friends & clients still ask me this continually?  Where is the Place to find someone?????   My daughter & I went to Lisdoonvarna Matchmaking Festival in Ireland on the weekend.  You have to hand it to the Irish that they actually have a place (or should I say places, as there are other less well known matchmaking festivals around Ireland) where this modern day dilemma can be solved.  This festival/gathering has at its core the main goal which is to match couples.  Farmers from all over Ireland come down for the weekends & consult or don't with the resident matchmaker, Willy Dunne.  If you are a woman & are not with a man at this festival, then you are fair game.  As my daughter said (we were two women by ourselves) it was predatory!  I didn't feel comfortable at all being the prey either so we didn't stay long.  However everyone was having fun (the Irish word is craic) & dancing at all the hotels.  There was definitely a spirit of celebration in the air & the alcohol was flowing steadily everywhere & that was in the middle of the day.  I'm sure everything was even more lubricated by the time they had gotten into full swing in the evening.....

In today's world the main areas where people meet or look for partners are online dating sites & social networks.  I am interested in how these sites are for supporting real relationships.  I discovered a poll on DatingSitesReview.com .  They ask: 'Which dating site would you recommend for the 2007 Dating Sites Reviews Single's Choice Award?' & the results of their poll are as follows:

1. eHarmony.com     78 (17.22%)
2. Date.com     27 (5.96%)
3. FriendFinder.com     44 (9.71%)
4. LavaLife     59 (13.02%)
5. Match.com     105 (23.18%)
6. PerfectMatch.com     37 (8.17%)
7. True.com     30 (6.62%)
8. Yahoo! Personals     73 (16.11%)

So Match.com scores highest in this poll!

There are probably smaller niche dating sites that are effective in matching couples?  Let me know below in the comments, if you have any feedback on these sites or others you've found work well.

Mashable has a poll on the social networks.  They ask: 'Which social network is the leader when it comes to what we euphemistically call “dating”?'  This is how they scored the 'Luckiest network?':

• MySpace 141850% of all votes
• Facebook 79628% of all votes
• Friendster 723% of all votes
• Bebo 793% of all votes
• YouTube 502% of all votes
• Xanga 241% of all votes
• hi5 602% of all votes
• Multiply 140% of all votes
• Stickam 281% of all votes
• MyBlogLog 80% of all votes
• Twitter 301% of all votes
• LinkedIn (!) 301% of all votes
• Digg (!) 813% of all votes
• Other (add in comments) 1325% of all votes

Total Votes: 2822 Started: April 24, 2007

So MySpace won the battle of the social networks in this poll.

Mentioned in this poll is Groupware who quotes way back in 2005: ""How will this software get my users laid" should be on the minds of anyone writing social software (and these days, almost all software is social software).  "Social software" is about making it easy for people to do other things that make them happy: meeting, communicating, and hooking up."

Valleywag mentions in a post about Twitter & quotes: 'Twitter's real-time intimacy may seem suited towards building new relationships, but it's not. It's best for the loose ties that lead to casual sex.'

Mashable recently did another post 'Is a Social Media Friend Really a Friend?'  They group people into the following groups:

1. Friends & family
2. Information sources
3. Connectors
4. Prospects
5. Groupies

The post finishes with this statement: 'would you trust a social media friend with something that’s precious to you? Trust is not a default – it needs to be earned. Maybe that’s the best test to use when trying to figure out if your friends are really friends, online or offline.'

Would love to hear your opinions or feedback about the possibilities of the different sites so that I can tell all those who ask me, where to go for a relationship.  Also any feedback about where not to go & what doesn't work would be brilliant!

I'd like to leave you with a funny video about online dating.  Enjoy.....

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnJeqHXFwUQ[/youtube]

if you would like to check out how you match with other zodiac signs, head over to horoscopes.co.uk where I authored the zodiac matches for Love & Business.  Obviously this is very general because I am only considering the sun's zodiac sign but it is a great taster to understand how you relate with others and the issues that you may find with certain zodiac signs.  I have created individual zodiac sign links below to make it easy for you, because most people are interested in their own zodiac sign and then maybe their partner's?

"Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion, you must set yourself on fire first." Reggie Leach

If you are an Aries you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Aries Love

Aries Business

"Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." John Adams

If you are a Taurus you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Taurus Love

Taurus Business

"The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me." George Bernard Shaw

If you are a Gemini you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Gemini Love

Gemini Business

"Men who care passionately for women attach themselves at least as much to the temple and to the accessories of the cult as to their goddess herself." Marguerite Yourcenar

If you are a Cancer you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Cancer Love

Cancer Business

"No matter how big or soft or warm your beds is, you still have to get out of it." Grace Slick

If you are a Leo you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Leo Love

Leo Business

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." Dale Carnegie

If you are a Virgo you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Virgo Love

Virgo Business

"I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure." Graffiti

If you are a Libra you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Libra Love

Libra Business

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Lord Acton

If you are a Scorpio you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Scorpio Love

Scorpio Business

"Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!" Donald Gardner

If you are a Sagittarius you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Sagittarius Love

Sagittarius Business

"The one who loves least controls the relationship." Unknown

If you are a Capricorn you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Capricorn Love

Capricorn Business

"Love will find a way. Indifference will find an excuse." Unknown

If you are an Aquarius you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Aquarius Love

Aquarius Business

"Helpless, unknown, and unremembered, most human beings, however sensitive, idealistic, intelligent, go through life as passengers rather than chauffeurs. Although we may pretend that it is the chauffeur who is the social inferior, most of us, like Toad of Toad Hall, would not mind a turn at the wheel ourselves." Ralph Harper

If you are a Pisces you can check out here how you relate with other zodiac signs:

Pisces Love

Pisces Business

Hope you enjoy reading up on your matches above?  Do these fit for you or not, would appreciate your feedback in the comments.....

I would like to leave you with a funny short video from a Oz skeptic, Tim Minchin, hilarious......

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFO6ZhUW38w[/youtube]

most people are looking for a perfect match, in business or love, in spite of the fact that we all know that perfection doesn't really exist.  To start with we are not perfect as individuals, yet some of us expect to find 'perfect' in a partner?  And some of us have given up not willing to settle for imperfect?   Try the polls below & let me know your position on this question.

The word perfect is from the Latin perfectus meaning "completed". It implies that it would be all over if we found a perfect match anyway.

'Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.' Unknown

Check out a Perfect Match poll here.

The results are pretty interesting.  One of the questions asked have you met your perfect match?

41% of women selected Yes; 59% of women selected No
45% of men selected Yes; 55% of men selected No

Another is where did you meet your perfect match?

14% of women selected Friends or Relatives
21% of women selected School
1% of women selected Work
1% of women selected Traveling
0% of women selected Blind Date
2% of women selected Special Occasion(Party,Wedding,etc.)
1% of women selected Recreational Activities
5% of women selected Internet/Online
1% of women selected Restaurant/Bar/Night Club
2% of women selected Other
52% of women selected Haven't met my Perfect match yet

18% of men selected Friends or Relatives
24% of men selected School
4% of men selected Work
0% of men selected Traveling
2% of men selected Blind Date
0% of men selected Special Occasion(Party,Wedding,etc.)
4% of men selected Recreational Activities
2% of men selected Internet/Online
0% of men selected Restaurant/Bar/Night Club
4% of men selected Other
41% of men selected Haven't met my Perfect match yet

"The mind is no match with the heart in persuasion; constitutionality is no match with compassion." Everett M.Dirks

It seems from the above that the majority of those polled had not found their perfect match.  I suggest if we take the word perfect out of the phrase, then we can be empowered to find a match that relates to our top values.  I base matches on 6 criteria:

1. Romance & sexual attraction
2. Communication
3. Success
4. Challenges
5. Fate or destiny (how out of control we are in the relationship)
6. Commitment or longevity

"I love her too, but our neuroses just don't match." Arthur Miller

Once we understand which values we hold highest then it is easier to gage how 'perfect' for us as an individual a partner will be, when we are together.  If we chase a mass media ideal of perfection, then we are likely to be disappointed if we don't try alternate universes.  Here on planet Earth we don't deal in perfection.

"Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar." Marguerite Gardiner Blessington

If we are looking for real intimacy & love, then maybe searching for an equal match with someone who scores high on our high values could provide an optimum Earth option?  Then there is enough energy to keep two interested & stimulated & loving without too much competition.

"When a match has equal partners then I fear not." Aeschylus

Would love to get feedback from you what you think makes a perfect match, try our polls or comment....

[poll id="2"][poll id="3"][poll id="4"]

I'll leave you with a funny video about a perfect match 'Sex & the Socket', hysterical......

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctCPri7jhnQ[/youtube]

In April08 I was lucky enough to interview 2 traditional Irish matchmakers on the phone. Tom Fenney has been an Irish matchmaker in County Meath, Ireland for over 50 years. Both his parents were matchmakers and now his son-in-law, Gus Martyn, also is a matchmaker. He doesn't keep any records but keeps their mobile phone numbers.

Tom told me that he has made hundreds of matches since he started matchmaking at 15 or 16 years old. with only one real failure. I asked him what is the secret to his success and he told me that it was just a bit of commonsense. He suggested that he has a good personality and that has helped him.
I asked him how he makes a match for someone and this was his process:

• he firstly interviews both of them for half an hour & finds out what they do & don't like
• he finds out what they have done and not done
• he has matched a lot of farmers so he finds out what sort of farms i.e. livestock, pig, sheep or whatever kind of farming
• he finds out what sort of work they do and whether they work during the day or night
• then he interviews both of them again for a longer time to ascertain whether they will match
• the secret to making a good match is to find out what they are keen about & make sure they both have that interest & a similar way of thinking
• age is not important - you can match a pair and the girl is 10 to 15 years younger the man and that will not make any difference
• finance comes into it too: he believes you can't match someone very rich with someone very poor - it usually doesn't work. (The match that failed was with an ex-nun & a farmer. The reasons that caused this to fail was that they didn't have family and so lacked support. The farmer was very rich and was looking for an heir, however Tom felt that it mightn't work at the start and tried to bring them back together but it didn't work.)
• he then introduces the couple at a neutral setting where the couple can relax and have a bit of fun. If one is not happy then it is easier to leave the meeting.
• the woman is the most important because if she is not happy the relationship will not work. (Tom & I had a bit of Irish craic & a laugh at this question & his slight hesitation about it! A couple came to him trying to get back together, but the woman was not happy and he was unable to rematch them. There was a lot of money involved with this farmer but he still could not effect a match.)

In Tom's father's time, he would bring a half bottle of whiskey to the girl's house & the bride's father & mother would talk to the matchmaker & the groom. The couple would then meet at the house and money would come into it, in the form of the bride's dowry. Tom has a bit of that too now, but not that much anymore. It was much more important then. Tom's couples stick together for a long time. Tom wanted to know if I was interested in his services, but I declined. Who's terrified, not me............

The link for the podcast of this interview is here

I then chatted with Tom's son-in-law, Gus Martyn, the following day. He has been matchmaking 10-11 years and has made 15-17 matches. But he has a good few couples courting as well. He has a few marriages under his belt, but not all have been successful. Those he has found different partners for but again not all have been 100% successful. Best success has been with girls between 30 -37 years as its not easy for those girls to go to discos in Ireland now. He is at fairs, hurling games, Gaelic games & football games & the odd pub as well. Gus is fairly well known because he is a referee in Meath. Girls come up & ask him for help. He has some couples living together (although that's none of his business), courting & marriage. His big secret is matching couples through their personality & size of person. He meets the girl in a restaurant or a bar & talks with her about what she is looking for. He feels that it is very important for the girl to be looked after like a parent, because she is somebody's daughter. He also meets the fella independently & talks with him. Then he sets up a meeting with both people and where himself & possibly Tom Fenney also go along. He arranges this so that the fella doesn't know where the girl is, this is so she can check him out without his knowledge to see if he looks suitable for her to meet. Gus checks in with the girl and then if she doesn't like the look of him, she can leave without causing any embarrassment. If the girl gets to visually see him and likes him then she can talk to him.

On the second date, Gus stays in the area to be there if she needs him.
The worst failure was a couple in Navan, Co Meath where the girl was happy enough with the fella but said he was a bit shy. Gus went along on the second date and it was a cold nite. They left the hotel and he walked her to her car where she discovered that her car had been broken into. He then promptly left & went home leaving her to deal with the damage. She of course called Gus and he came & gave her support. He was gone & Gus never wants to see him again!!!! Gus regularly calls the girls to make sure they are looked after. He has to vet the guys more than the girls, as some of the guys are chancers (as the Irish would say)! If a guy is a heavy drinker or something like that, it is just trouble, so Gus doesn't bother with them. He feels that similarity is important in a lot of things when matchmaking but finances as in rich & poor, is not so important. He has a pretty good success rate & is quite happy. After making a match, he finds they like to keep it a secret. The girls don't like it to made public that they have found their match through Gus & Tom and they are quite happy to keep that confidential. However years ago, it would be widely known that the couple had been matched through a matchmaker. Times have changed even in Ireland! Tom & his son-in-law Gus do their matchmaking every year at the Dunderry Fair. This year it is on Sunday 11th May but they get the couples dancing on the Friday night 9th May at the local pub. I had to own up that I wasn't really a great dancer & we had a bit of craic about that. All the proceeds go to charity, so if you are interested in finding a match through traditional Irish matchmakers, head on down & look up Tom Feeney & Gus Martyn.

You can listen to the podcast of the second interview here.

Check out the video below from 'Fiddler on the Roof' with that great song 'Matchmaker, matchmaker' about the Jewish traditional matchmaker, yenta!
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=59Hj7bp38f8&feature=related[/youtube]