we are all looking for a match made in heaven but many find the opposite, a match made in hell. Even in my work as a matchmaker, being human I make mistakes too. Although the goal is of course to avoid mistakes in matching, there is no way to avoid mistakes sometimes.

“Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy racing back and forth between partners. Some relationships are the slow, dark dance of death.” Colette Dowling

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unfortunately some people exude toxicity i.e., negativity in huge buckets (my interpretation) and sometimes when we are with them we can pick up leakage or spillage, deliberate or not. Toxic is an interesting word & basically means poison originally from Latin ‘toxicus’ and has something to do with the poison used on arrows. (This brings the image of the penetration value of some toxic people!) If we care about someone and want to be with them or see them, then that negative poison seeps through the permeable membrane that exists between us. Our borders are down with someone we care about & so this negativity can affect us. I unwittingly fell victim to this during the week and it took me a few days to come back to myself. I guess unwittingly was the operative word, as if I had been rational I would have not ventured to this meeting.

“I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.” David Bissonette

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are you settling for what you can get in the relationship stakes? I read an interesting post in MoreIntelligentLife.com by Adelle Waldman which was a review of Lori Gottlieb’s controversial article in The Atlantic called ‘Marry Him: The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough’ I have a strong reaction to settling for good enough as the costs can be huge for an individual when looking for relationships. Everyone has to identify their own priorities in values, of course, particularly when asking that question: to couple or not to couple??

“You don’t always get what you ask for, but you never get what you don’t ask for… unless it’s contagious!” Franklyn Broude

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living together successfully can either be a wonderful learning & sharing experience or a real test for any couple. Unfortunately the latter has the higher percentage of entrants in the couple stakes. There are several components to the question how to live together successfully?

“That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked.” Bill Cosby

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