May 4th, 2008

sexual compatibility

» Posted in Matchmaking, Relationships, astrology at 10:39 am

sex sells, so they say. I’m not sure about that although most ad agencies would probably disagree! It certainly makes the world go around as it guarantees that most species on the planet will be perpetuated. In relationships it also provides us humans with an intense level of intimacy, release of pent up energy and a source of lotsa fun! However we all express our sexuality in different ways and have different needs in that area.

There are four broad categories in sexual expression and needs which are as follows:

Connective lover who expresses their sexuality in their body through the connection with their partner. They can be turned on by communication and exchange of ideas with their partner.
Sensitive lover who expresses their sexuality in their body through their feelings & sensations with their partner. They can be turned on by sharing of feelings and sensitivity with their partner.
Passionate lover who expresses their sexuality in their body through their fantasies and passions. They can be turned on by sharing of fantasies and passion with their partner.
Instinctual lover who expresses their sexuality in their body in a very physical way. They can be turned on by physical and sensate exchange with their partner.

“Sex is. There is nothing more to be done about it. Sex builds no roads, writes no novels and sex certainly gives no meaning to anything in life but itself.” Gore Vidal

When matching couples as regards sexual compatibility it is easy for those that have the same mode to have good and satisfying sexual relationships. Differences can excite and stimulate initially but long term may cause problems in satisfaction and trust within a relationship. The other combinations I will list below:

Connective lover with Sensitive lover can have challenges, although if other factors in the relationship support them they can broaden their ranges together. However they may complain of disconnection and lack of fulfillment of their needs with each other
Connective lover with Passionate lover can easily turn each other on and enjoy a satisfying sexual relationship. They both appreciate the subtle aspect of the sexual relationship and therefore have a similar base.
Connective lover with Instinctual lover also have challenges but can identify creative resolutions to any differences together. They can learn from each other to broaden their ranges & heighten their experience of sex.
Sensitive lover with Passionate lover can also learn from each other’s differences to broaden their range & heighten their experience of sex.

‘If it weren’t for pickpockets, I’d have no sex life at all.’ Rodney Dangerfield

Sensitive lover with Instinctual lover can easily turn each other on & their sexual relationship can be very good. Each provides a dimension that can increase depth into their experience of sex.
Passionate lover has difficulties with Instinctual lover as their needs and sexual expression are very different. They may have a distaste for each other’s mode of expression & satisfying each other’s needs. But if other aspects of the relationship can support them in learning about each other’s needs then they can develop together in a sexual relationship.

Robot sex

Hopefully none of us will have to resort to ‘robot sex’ and are able to choose & find partners that we can dance together with sexually! This is a great video from ‘Vagina Monologues’ that will bring a little chuckle….. Enjoy!