We all experience the world through different lenses and therefore express ourselves in different ways. We express ourselves through our hearts, through what we are passionate about and everything we love to do. Hopefully the vehicle is career and our creative pursuits. We can even express ourselves through the joy of having children. Self expression is important for everyone’s happiness and contentment in life and in relationships. It comes from the very core of our being. Therefore when matching couples it is necessary to make sure that each person can express themselves. There are four general types of categories in how we express ourselves.

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we have all experienced chemistry with someone else and in spite of this widespread experience, we are not sure about exactly what it is or how it happens.  Online dating sites try to determine it, because if this element is missing in a relationship, then it may easily fizzle or not happen at all! Everyone knows it by its absence or presence but most have no idea where it comes from. Match.com even created a site called Chemistry.com which attempts to determine this element in a dating site. The site is based on Dr Helen Fisher’s research into why people are attracted to each other. The thing I notice about all the theories about chemistry between people is that what is often not recognized is that chemistry is a different sort of experience for different sorts of folks. It seems there is even a movie around called The Chemistry of Dating.

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When matchmaking, one of the major issues that needs to be addressed between two people is how comfortable they feel with each other. This is particularly crucial if the relationship may progress towards a live in setup. When sharing the same living space lack of comfort for either person can result in troubles within the relationship. When we are at home, we need to be able to feel comfortable and relaxed. It is a basic need and is the foundation for everything else in our lives. People have 4 basic different types of comfort needs and most of us would relate to one of these, at least generally.

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Having another person involved in a relationship in any capacity immediately changes the dynamic between two people. This can be a positive experience or it can shatter a couple’s trust, depending upon the attitude of the individuals involved. Some of the possibilities are:

• When a relationship’s energy or good feelings are dumbed down by time & habit, one or both parties may venture outside the relationship & have an affair with another

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