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Happy Valentine’s Day to all & may Love find you all the year!

Some facts about the day from Wikipedia

In 1836, relics of St. Valentine of Rome were donated by Pope Gregory XVI to the Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland. In the 1960s, the church was renovated and relics restored to prominence.

Red heart

Using the language of the law courts for the rituals of courtly love, a “High Court of Love” was established in Paris on Valentine’s Day in 1400. The court dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. Judges were selected by women on the basis of a poetry reading.

Heart stone

The day has come to be associated with a generic platonic greeting of “Happy Valentine’s Day.” As a joke, Valentine’s Day is also referred to as “Singles Awareness Day.”

Large hearts

Here’s a great video from my favorite electronic card company Rubber Chicken Cards…..

Time magazine recently had a special edition called ‘The Science of Romance’. Great to see a well known mag devoting so much space to this theme. The by line was ‘How we fall in love may be the hardest human behavior to explain. Scientists are seeking answers - and finding them.’

Time Mag

‘The Art of Romance’ is just as important and none of us, women or men, could not help but benefit from sharpening our talents and skills in this challenging area. In that vein, I have reused some of the subheadings from the above article to respond with my own thoughts.

• Liking What We See - and Hear

Secret admirer comic

Pay attention to your appearance and your speech ie what you speak about, how you speak and the tone in which you speak.

• The Lure of Smell

Love chipmunks

Pay attention to your bodily hygiene and keep your clothes and immediate surroundings clean!

• When Love Dies

Duct tape comic

Self Love is the best remedy & chocolate comes in at a close second!

• Why We Do It

Crazy Love

A picture says a thousand words!

Here’s a great Aussie ad that I hope has you laughing as much as I did….

I experienced a big disappointment this week that brought me to thinking about disappointments in relationships. The word disappoint comes from the Medieval French word desappointer meaning “undo the appointment, remove from office”. Modern sense of the word is “to frustrate expectations” which is from secondary meaning of “fail to keep an appointment.”

When we relate with others we bring our own ideals & fantasies to the mix as we meet and mingle. The honeymoon period of any relationship usually carries with it its own ready made fog of infatuation and desire mingled with an insane quality of unrealistic perfection! During this initial period we may not know where we are going or who we are relating to, however it is fun! Like watching a really good movie (only it may last for more than 2 or 3 hours) we are transported beyond ourselves and our mundane lives & worries. We become more than who we are and our partner receives all the fantasies and projections we have stored in the unconscious. Here at last is the perfect partner for us - our ship has finally come in!

Disappointment

Enjoy this time while you can, it does not last! Thank goodness really, because often we are not truly aware of who we are relating to and how the relationship is really going! After some time it may stop being fun for periods and reality creeps in, and we may discover that we have been living with the frog prince or princess. Only now they may appear more like a frog than a prince for longer & longer periods. This is an important time as we can really get to know the person behind the paper cut out that we have been playing with until now. You both may experience this at the same time or have different timing on when the fog lifts and your partner is revealed. It can be so shocking & disappointing that it finishes the relationship or both can make a conscious choice to pursue the learning and revealing to the heart of Love!

Certain Doom

We may literally feel that our partner has failed to keep their appointment with us! However this is the time that we can correlate our highest values in a partner with the reality of the human being we are partnering. Communication about our disappointment is important, both with our partner and others who support & love us. The fantasy was an expression of us all along & now comes the hard work of pulling that projection back and experiencing our own humanity as we learn about our partners. This is a warts & all kind of experience! If we cannot bring this into our human experience we will be fated to go from partner to partner and disappointment will be our only constant companion!
Hope you enjoy this funny video about one man’s particular disappointment!