A friend gave me a copy of ‘Why Men Love Bitches’ to read this week. It is a great book for WOMEN! It propounds, in its own way, my own belief that women have better relationships with men when they develop themselves and become confident and assured in their own lives. Women are very interested in bettering their relationships and often have read, studied and spoken with other women about relationships with men frequently in their lives. It’s sort of like preaching to the converted!

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I saw a great movie this week; it was ‘Shop Girl’ with Steve Martin. It was brilliant and showed extreme examples of emotional distance and intimacy.

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In relationships, as in life, do not underestimate the power of kindness. In fact it may be the one human attribute that can really make a difference and change the color of your day or life! From my experience, there are a few rules of kindness which I have listed as per below:

• The first rule is that kindness starts at home! This means that you must apply kindness to yourself before you extend it to others. Please note that I am not encouraging martyrdom! Remember on an airplane that in an emergency you are asked to put on your own oxygen mask first, then put them on children or those that need your help. It makes sense that if you are being kind to yourself, you cannot help but be kind to others in your immediate vicinity. If you ignore this first step then your ability to be kind to others will be tainted by manipulation and unconscious motivation that may not truly serve them or you in the long run
• The second rule is to be kind to those within your immediate personal vicinity. Your partner and anyone that you are personally responsible for such as children or older relatives would come into this category.

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I have a rather unusual take on loneliness. I find it precious and encourage people to form a relationship with their experience of loneliness. This guarantees that we don’t throw our loneliness at partners or potential partners & expect them to look after it or entertain us to distract us from it. This is the sure way to scare anyone off, even someone who really cares about us. Loneliness comes out of time spent alone; this can be short periods or longer periods. The point where it becomes loneliness is different for all of us. Some of us need large amounts of time alone and smaller in company with others. Others like less time alone, maybe no time at all. Then there are times in our lives when we need more time alone due to circumstances and also other times less time due to other circumstances.

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