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Fear

do you ever find yourself circling around the heart of a matter, finding it difficult to get a definite connection to what is going on in your mind or feelings? It usually shows up as a soft fluffly cloud that seems to have settled on your brain. Nothing is definite or clear and you seem to toddle along without any sense of purpose and determination. You can be propelled into this state by the dogs of fear barking at the gate of something you don’t really want to look at or address. This soft woolly option can easily be slipped into to avoid whatever it is that you fear!!

locked heart

Unfortunately if you don’t awake or are awoken before too long you could find yourself a long way off the road to where you want to go. It is a comforting woolly feeling but nothing seems to come together or comes into clear focus. So there is a great sacrifice in the subtle avoidance of circling around the heart of a matter! If you are wanting to regain the ground you have lost, it is important to focus again on your goal. Allow your mind & feelings to catch up and then hopefully reclaim some clarity. The next step is to then face the barking dogs of fear that are trying to keep you back from the heart of the matter. You will of course then experience the original fear and can apply the antidote of courage. Fear only exists as do the guardian demons of temples as protection from the sacred heart of things.

Heart skies

Everything needs protection and a container to maintain form, it is important that these boundaries are kept intact. This is where fear lives on the peripheries of important things and its purpose is to protect us from the depths of the heart. Just as the demons are there only to protect, not to keep you out of the temple. Breathing through the fear and walking through the ring pass me not, brings you closer to the heart of the matter. Clarity and insight await you and are the reward for applying the antidote of courage. This is a process that can be used whether you are flying solo or in relationship. Of course the complexity doubles when you are together with someone else. And of course so does the treasure of reconnecting with the heart of things. Because the best place to be when in a relationship is in the heart of things!

Some people experience fear in aeroplanes - being so far above things can leave you feeling pretty vulnerable. Here is a great funny video from my old home Oz…….

intimate is not just women’s underwear, it is the subtle foundation of any good relationship. The word intimate is defined in the dictionary as pertaining to the inmost character of a thing; fundamental. The word comes from the Latin intimatus “make known, announce, impress,” and intimus “inmost”. It all sounds pretty intense doesn’t it but also so… attractive to be seen by another & accepted, let alone loved! Before moving on from the intimate apparel theme, thought you might enjoy this great foto from Flikr.

Intimate

Of course there is no such thing in love relationships as a little intimate, because by love’s very nature it implies that we are honest with the whole damn thing rather than showing glimpses of who we are and then hiding again. We all have areas that we feel we should hide from others for whatever reasons. In our culture the rarefied atmosphere of the mind is held high and feelings are repressed or depressed. Feelings are seated in our bodies and so the body is often the place where our vulnerability is easily exposed.

Of course most of us relate to intimacy as a sexual kinda thing but intimacy actually demands much more of us than just physical coupling. The physical act of sex really exposes our most vulnerable aspects through our bodies and our feelings which can be triggered by this physical exchange. Once a little intimacy is experienced, it seems that all levels want to come to the intimacy party - mental, emotional, physical and spiritual ! Of course that can be shattering to our sense of control and individuality! But it can also be ecstatic, liberating and relaxing as the healing power of love effects its miracles! An example courtesy of the ladybirds from Flikr…

Ladybirds

I had the biggest lessons in intimacy of my life many years ago, when I worked with men who were dying of AIDS. There is no more struggle to pretend or hide any more when our body no longer co-operates with the dance of life. We are no longer involved and have no more investment in the delights & banalities of life’s superficialities any more. As a result of facing our mortality & death we are able to be who we are, warts & all, with others. Paradoxically we can have more fulfilment in our relationships as well as feel somewhat detached from the need to control things that are often outside of our control, others & our environment. The Tibetan lamas say that the best meditation to bring you into the present moment is the death meditation, meditation on your own death! Its amazing how quickly you can recognise what is really important!

Here is a funny video from YouTube on intimacy between a couple….

i introduced my youngest daughter to her now husband a few years ago. I am staying with them this weekend and it is wonderful to see them so happy together.

It is a wonderful testament to my matchmaking abilities, as I introduced them a couple of years ago and she was very unsure initially. I could reassure her from an objective perspective as I looked at their relationship (composite) chart. I remember saying to her that this relationship would only be positive whatever form it took, i.e. friend or lover. I am touched by the sense of comfort, warmth and consciousness that they share together. This is a wonderful gift for any couple. Its important to have the foundation of a good match together and then its important to be willing to grow together. If you want to check out how you match up with your partner or potential partner try the AstraMatch Meter http://www.astramatch.com/AstraMatchMeter.aspx

Not much more I can say really so I will leave you with this great video which evokes the challenges of opening your heart for loving and relating and what the potential outcomes of that can be, both painful & joyful: