October 21st, 2007

the other side of change

» Posted in Relationships, humor at 5:14 pm

change can be a challenging, it requires attention and time and effort! Example, when we change countries from UK to the US.Â Then we have to pay a lot of attention to what side of the road we are driving or what side of the car to get into? The habit forming part of the brain has to be adjusted and so we have to pay more attention until it becomes part of our habits. Anyone that has traveled knows the shock when we find ourselves driving on the wrong side of the road or opening the wrong car door.

When we are in a relationship we can be affected by two lots of change, ours & our partner’s – double trouble! We may be rolling along smoothly in our own life but then our partner hits some bumps and we are affected too, because of our shared lives & interests. Even if you are feeling happy & full of life, a partner may wake up feeling depressed and you will be affected in some way.

It seems we just can’t escape change. The Chinese Book of Changes, the I Ching, says that the only thing that is constant in life is change. But that doesn’t change the fact that it costs us. Change can seem positive or negative but either costs us in energy and creates stress. The main outcome of change is awareness, it wakes us out of the zombie state from the habit part of the brain.

I have found it helpful to see change as an opportunity. Opportunity opens up our minds to other possibilities and keeps us awake and in our relationships this is very important. Otherwise we start to take for granted the people in our lives, when we look at the world through that numbed and automatic part of our brains. We lose interest in our partners and in our relationships when we have fallen into that habitual mind. Better to make sure that we introduce positive change into our relationship rather than become the victim of catastrophic change. Consciousness is the best foundation for successful relationships!

This week brought a wonderful & redemptive change to the world, when President Bush publicly presented HH the Dalai Lama. This was a wonderful move forward for the Tibetan cause & for freedom in the world.

Here is a funny video about the exchange between HH & Bush, enjoy……