September 16th, 2007

vulnerability

» Posted in Matchmaking, Relationships, humor at 9:41 am

we all have different areas that can make us feel vulnerable, they come from undeveloped functions within ourselves. Mine is my body and the sensate function (Jungian terminology). So my vulnerability really shows up when I am unwell or physically tired. It is my greatest fear & also my greatest challenge when my health or body breaks down. Of course I demand so much from it that this can be a regular occurrence. I have spent what seems to be a lifetime trying to shore this area up, by learning as much as I can about health and healing, without actually going into a health profession.

If I am honest, my vulnerability comes from my tendency to not pay attention until it hurts – sort of a unconscious misconstruing of ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!’ I drive myself relentlessly until I fall down! However it is at these times that I have to swallow my pride and accept help and support from friends. It humanizes me for myself to start with, as well as for them. When I have to stop the race or slow down due to ill health, I am often gifted with dreams – messages from the unconscious which identify whether I am spiritually on track or not (and what needs to be done if I’m not!) So through experiencing my vulnerability in this raw way, I find myself learning more and relating better than when I am physically strong. So I have learnt that it is important to be self responsible for my vulnerable areas but also that it is not failure when I fall down, just to be open to receive the gifts that come with this territory.

Of course for others vulnerability shows up in different areas! Often for men it can be when their feelings take them over. Of course as women we already know the treasures that come from being taken over by how we really feel, but please be patient with men. Our culture has only recently allowed and encouraged men to express and participate in the feeling function. Some cultures allow it more than others and some groups within our cultures allow it more than others.

The important thing to remember for all of us is that our angels & our demons reside where our vulnerability lies. There is treasure and truth to be found and ultimately a more healthy balanced psyche. Whether we are dragged kicking & screaming or we wake up & find ourselves smack bang in the middle of our vulnerability, it is helpful to be open to what we can bring back with us from this treasure trove. This is particularly helpful in our relationships, so we can then free up our partners from carrying our unowned & disliked projections. One of the best things that I have drawn out of these experiences is compassion! Compassion for myself & my own challenges and of course later compassion for others & their challenges in being human! This is an organic & hands on way of cultivating compassion in our relationships to help them thrive.

Check out this guy who is not afraid to show his tears & vulnerability, and you can laugh along with him: